


The Complex Art Of Playing House

by kancake



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M, single father!John, single parent, uguu cute Casey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-07
Updated: 2012-08-09
Packaged: 2017-10-23 12:49:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 39,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/250475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kancake/pseuds/kancake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once there was a prompt on the kinkmeme for a single father Dave fic and someone started filling it and then someone else filled it and they were both really good, but I liked the concept going in the uncompleted one and kind of wanted to go for something similar, but I wanted single father John instead because blah. Anyway yes that's what it is, other characters may enter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. I am clearly just not writing enough John/Dave. Clearly. So I will just make more. More and more. So much more.  
> Also the teen warning is probably mostly because of Dave's cussing but also because I don't know where I am going to take this yet but a few of my plans would require it anyway.  
> Enjoy??

You are John Egbert and you do not have the time for this tomfoolery. Actually, though, you have quite some time, and there isn't really any tomfoolery going down. You just kind of wanted an excuse to say tomfoolery in your head.

"Are you ready, Casey?" You check, crouching down in front of her. She carefully adjusts her shirt so it's just right before making sure her plastic tiara is perfectly straight.

"Ready!" She confirms, giving you a big smile that you return before scooping her up. She maneuvers herself so she's on your shoulders and you slip her shoes on before you head out the door. You can sense she's feeling nervous by the way she's wiggling and fixing her tiara. There's a new worker at her daycare centre starting today, and you've heard that she's heard that it's a boy which you guess is very exciting. You, frankly, are getting a little worried about how conscious she's becoming of things like this.

"Do you know what today is?" You ask her once you're outside and walking down the street.

"Do _you_?" She asks in return, bouncing a little.

"Boy, I forget, but I feel like today was something pretty big!!" You ponder.

"Daddy!!" She accuses, taking your head in both of her little hands and shaking it just a bit. You laugh.

"Oh gosh, it's your birthday! How old are you now? Six?"

"Daaaddy!!" She complains again. "I'm _seven_ today!"

"Six is _so_ yesterday," you return, and she giggles at this. "So what do you want to do? Anything special?"

"Can we go out to eat?" She hopes.

"Jeez, of course we can. And where would the birthday girl like to go?"

"Chinese!" She decides without thinking.

"It's your _birthday_ and I will take you anywhere and you want _Chinese_? Are you sure? This is a life-changing decision you know," you waggle a finger in her face and she huffs at it.

"Well..." she sounds like she's second-guessing this choice.

"Tell you what, you can tell me when I pick you up and you just think about it until then, okay?"

"Okay! Are we gonna have cake at home?"

"Who do you think you are talking to of course we have cake at home. I started it last night and I just need to finish it up and it'll be all set," you promise. She hugs you around your neck, not quite squeezing hard enough to hurt.

"I love you Daddy!!" She squeels, and you laugh.

"I love you too, sweetiepie," you answer, "oh man, we're here, are you ready?" You ask, placing your hand on the door knob of her daycare centre.

She jolts and starts fixing her hair and adjusting her tiara and telling you to put her down, which you do. "What if he doesn't like me?" She frets, and you give her a little, uneasy smile, taking her hand, which she immediately pulls away from you. "You don't need to hold my hand, Daddy! I'm already _seven_ , you know!"

"Oh right, how could I forget," you chuckle, opening the door. As you do so she slips her hand back into yours and walks so closely to you that you're almost tripping over her. "Casey Egbert," you inform the man at the desk, who's back is to you as he's doing something on the computer.

He spins around, looking a little, you think, like he is far more entertained by the fact that the chair spins than his expression lets on. "Egbert?" He raises one red eyebrow at you and you take a second to process everything.

"Oh, gosh, Dave? Dave Strider?" You smile at him and you can feel Casey trying to disappear into your leg. "We went to school together, right?" Even though you ask this, you know it's true. Dave wasn't exactly someone you forget easily, and even still he hadn't changed much in the 7 years you'd been out of school. He still wore his big, and you think kind of silly, shades which you assumed meant he was still pretty big on irony, although you're not sure why you associate his shades with irony, and also he's looking at you with a perfect poker face.

"Yeah, we did," he nods ever-so-slightly.

"What brings you around here? I always imagined you'd be one of those kids that got right out of town life and headed straight for the nearest city," Casey nudges you a little and you smile down at her, before you gesture to her. "And this is my daughter, Casey," you add and she smiles shyly.

"I didn't much take you for the kind to have a kid at your age, either," he notes. "You married?"

"Oh, uh, no.... Actually we never got married."

He raises his eyebrow again. "When did you even knock her up, your kid looks, what, six? So you were 19? Yeesh, Egbert," he starts.

"I'm _SEVEN_!" Casey cuts in, quite loudly and you smile nervously.

"It's her birthday," you add, not really wanting to discuss what had happened, especially not with your former coolkid classmate. "But hey, I gotta head to work, it was... nice seeing you again," you lift a hand in a small wave before leaning down to give Casey a kiss on the forehead, "I'll see you after work, sweetie. Think about where you want to go," you add and she nods, giving your legs a little hug before she scampers off to find her friends and you shuffle off to the small pet store you own.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah I am updating shit. But I am not actually writing it to keep up oops. Instead just mixing some CDs and arting some art.  
> Shhhhh I will write eventually where have Dave because I just can't stay in one POV I just can't weh
> 
> Also is Chucky Cheeses even a real thing I feel like that's not how it's written uh

You are Dave Strider and man this kid can talk. You imagine she has acquired this trait from her father, although you still don't actually know who her mother is. It's really starting to irk you that you don't, though. Seriously, who on earth could Egbert have knocked up? You don't even remember him having been dating anyone. Not that you had paid a particular amount of attention to him in high school.

Actually make that any attention at all. You distinctly recall he was pretty short and kind of chubby, and he was a real nerd. He was, like, most likely to become a scientist or something. For a second you find yourself wondering why this wasn't a thing that happened, and then you realize that the reason is probably sitting and chattering at you right now. Today is her 7th birthday, so that meant that she must have been born when you were pretty fresh out of school.

Egbert really did fill out, though. Well, he was still shorter than you, but he definitely got a few inches since you last saw him. And the last all the baby fat and, you think, he might have gotten himself just the slightest bit of muscle, but not much really. He still had that messy black hair (shorter now, though), and those big, dorky square-framed glasses, and his teeth were still something akin to a dentists nightmare, but somehow in his age he's managed to pull it all together in a sort of (dorkishly) charming way rather than the (nerdish) awkward way he'd been in your younger years.

You zone back in to the animated child speaking to you, perhaps half with her hands, in time to catch "so do you think we should go for Chinese today, or somewhere else?"

You give her a blank look. "Of course Chinese, Chinese is the... bomb," you stop yourself from saying shit, almost forgetting you are working with kids here. You're not sure what possessed you to apply for this job (that's a lie, it was irony, irony possessed you) but you're beginning to wonder how long it will actually last before you start cursing everywhere and the kids start taking the language home.

"That's what I thought too!! But then Daddy made it sound like there were much better places to go, and now I dunno!" She huffs, and for some reason you're having a hard time wrapping your mind around 'daddy' and 'Egbert' being the same person. Anyway doesn't this kid have any friends to talk to. She seemed to be getting along fine with everyone, but at some point she bee-lined for you and sat you right down for a chat. If anything, the girl's got guts, and you have to admire Egbert for raising her to be so tough all on his own.

"Man, I don't know, don't kids like things like Chucky Cheeses or what ever?" You try.

She gives you a very cross look, as if you just slapped her in the face. "I'm seven, I am way too old for Chucky Cheeses, gosh!! I'm not a kid anymore," she shakes her head like you are the biggest fucking disappointment.

"Okay, well, personally I like Chinese. My favourite grub is up in the air between Chinese and Mexican, but there aren't many classy Mexican food joints around and it's a pretty big day so you don't want the cheap sh... stuff, so I'd go for Chinese," you explain, hoping that will settle everything. She gives you a look like you just solved world hunger or found the cure for the fucking common cold.

"Do you wanna come?" She asks, very excited and you give her a funny look, but you imagine she can't see this through your glasses.

"What?" You ask instead.

"To my birthday dinner, do you want to come?" She grins cheekily at you.

"Man you sure are forward, Egbert's got something to worry about here."

"Pff! Daddy's gotta let go sometime, I'm not a little girl anymore," she rolls her blue eyes, which she definitely got from her dad. This is something you remember very vividly about Egbert. His eyes are the bluest of blues, you'd place your money on it.

"Saying that at only seven, your dad would pass right out if heard that."

"Already seven," she insists. "So will you come??"

You can't help but smirk a little at her, "Casey Egbert, are you coming onto me, is that what is going on right now?" You chuckle, but she gives you a confused little look.

"What's that mean?" She asks, and it occurs to you again that she is a kid and kids don't know everything (they just think they do).

"... Do you know what a date is?" You try again, suddenly determined to get your point across.

"Oh yes I am sort of asking you to one of those," she nods, and oh god Egbert would die if he were here, you're sure of it, and the thought makes you smirk.

"Sorry, I have to decline," you lift a hand and she's pouting at you in no time.

"Why? And don't say it's because I'm too young," she raises a finger at you, "because I am totally old enough, okay?"

"No, I know you are," you agree, "it's just, well. It's kind of a secret. Can you keep secrets?" She nods enthusiastically and leans in to offer you her ear even, "well, actually, I like boys," you confess, and it feels a little strange. You realize that you've never had to say it quite like that before. Really, you never had to say it. You forget when, but Bro kind of figured it out on his own, and you've never really told anyone else before. She pulls away and gives you a kind of funny look.

"But... you're a boy," she points out, and you feel a little unsettled by this. You wonder if she ever actually talked to Egbert about this sort of thing and he might have told her it was wrong. You're not sure if you know how to take homophobia from a seven-year-old, you can't even beat her up over it.

"Some boys... like other boys. Some girls like other girls. Some boys and girls like both," you explain, and she looks kind of perplexed by this concept.

"So you... only like other boys?" She tries. "Boys like Daddy?"

"W... well yes. I mean I don't know if... I would use your dad as the example... well, yes," you decide.

"I guess that makes sense, if that's how you feel. Once when Daddy and I were going to a circus - have you ever been to the circus? It was really fun! The clowns were kind of scary, but besides them..." she pauses, looking like she forgot what she was saying, "oh yeah, when we were on our way, there were some girls walking and holding hands, and I hold hands with my friends, but they looks different, you know? And asked Daddy why they were doing that and he said it was because they were in love. I didn't really get it then, I was a kid, like five or six or something! But I guess it makes sense like that. It's not like you can control who you like, right? But it's still a little sad to know that you won't like me," she gives you a big smile, and she didn't inherit the Egbert Teeth, but she definitely got the Egbert Smile and you reach out to ruffle her hair.

"I like you plenty, kiddo. Just not in a datey way," you assure.

"I'll try not to come on to you anymore," she promises and you give her another smirk.

"Go play with some of your friends now, eh?"

She nods and scampers off to a group of girls who all welcome her easily back into their circle and start chattering away immediately. You relax, watching over all the kids and making sure the little shits didn't get into too much trouble, which they surprisingly did not, and you start thinking that maybe this job won't actually be the worst.

You end up spending a lot of your time seated at your desk with Casey sitting on it, kicking her legs. Evidently Egbert was usually the last to arrive, because something about him liking to stay to close up shop (which you find out that he owns a pet store, which you find oddly fitting) so you let the girl wear your shades and you talk about circuses and this boy in her class that she kind of likes but he's kind of a jerk, and you promise they're usually only jerks when they like you, until Egbert came, apologizing to you, and you assure it's fine as you slip your shades back on and you note all the animal hair on his black shirt and you can imagine this is a constant in his life.

"I'll be back tomorrow!" Casey warns you, and you give her a small smile.

"Lookin' forward to it, kiddo."

"You better get me a present!" She adds and you give her a firm thumbs up.


	3. Chapter 3

You are John Egbert and you are currently at a Chinese restaurant with Casey. A nice one, of course, not some buffet, and you had planned to take her here from the start if she chose Chinese, but as you were heading out she specifically informed you that you _had_ to go to a 'classy joint.' You think she may have discussed the matter with Strider.

"So you had fun today?" You ask, trying to make your chopsticks cooperate long enough to get some of this food in your mouth as Casey uses them with way to much ease for a seven-year-old.

"Yup!!" She beams at you, and you reach across the table to rub a napkin at the corner of her mouth.

"I told you you'd get along fine."

"Dave helped me decide to have Chinese," she explains, and you nod, "he said he likes Mexican food too, but there aren't any good places around here," she goes on, and looks at you like she's seeking a second opinion on the matter.

"He's right," you agree, "there are mostly just fast food places. If you want, I can make some Hispanic food at home sometime, though," you offer.

"Can we invite Dave?"

You can feel both your eyebrows raise before you approve of the action. "Invite... Dave? What, home? For dinner?" You can hear the panic in your voice, and you know it's half from the fact that Casey wants to invite a boy, regardless of situation, to the house and half from the idea of Dave Strider being in your house ever at all for any reason except to tell you off or something.

"I tried to invite him today," she sighs, rolling her eyes at you like she can tell you're overreacting. Which you are but she shouldn't be able to tell that.

"Today? To this... thing... now?"

"Yes, Daddy, to this thing now," she rolls her eyes again, "but he said no."

"Of course. Casey you are too young to be inviting people out, especially boys!"

"Am not," she returned, "and he didn't say no because I was too young. He said he _knew_ I was old enough, and that wasn't it."

"I'm sure he did," you mutter at little and she gives you a cross look, "jeez, so what was the problem then?" You play along, but she goes stock still and glances around anxiously.

"I can't tell," she decides after a long moment, and you feel your brows pull into worry. Casey never kept secrets from you before. You raised her to know that she could tell you anything.

"Why not?"

"He said so. He said I can't tell anyone. It's a secret," she shakes her head before going back to eating.

"Casey, don't keep secrets from me. I'm your dad, you can tell me," your gut twists just a little and you don't want to ask this, and it makes it worse that your old classmate is involved but, "he didn't... do anything to you, did he, Casey?" You ask carefully.

She gives you a perplexed look, her mouth full of noodles. You have to wait for her to slurp them all up before she asks, "what do you mean? No, he just told me his secret. And I don't want to be a _tattle-tale_!"

"Casey, if you tell me, I wont tell anyone else. It's just me, after all," you can't explain why this has you in so much of a tizzy. You imagine it's just a thing that a father feels when their kids pulls a 'secret' card on them, especially for the first time, and maybe more especially when Dave Strider is involved. Because seriously, Dave Strider, Coolest of Kids.

"Do you _promise_ not to tell?" She asks, eyeing you carefully like you might be an imposter.

"I swear," you assure.

She glances around the restaurant again, looking each and every person in the place over carefully, before she stands up and walks over to your side of the table to tug you down to her level and whisper, "he says he only likes boys," in your ear, and you have to blink a few times to fully register this. "You can't tell," she warns again, and you nod.

"Of course I won't," you promise as she takes her seat again, "but Casey, he was probably right. Don't tell anyone else about this, okay? Not even your friends. It's good that you told me, of course, but still. Okay?"

"I didn't tell anyone. And I wouldn't have told you if you weren't my daddy."

You watch her as she eats and think this over. It doesn't bother you, of course. You've always been a very open-minded guy. But you know there are plenty of people around here that would be bothered by it, and if any of their kids brought it home, they may even try to get Dave fired. Then again, you're not even sure if it's true, or if he told Casey that just because she was trying to ask him to dinner (as you recall this, you feel that horror again, oh gosh your girl is growing up way too fast). But even still, you find it hard believe he would lie about something like that, even to a kid (especially to a kid). And still, around being concerned for him personally, since not everyone was as kind as you and of course Casey, you can't help but to think how incredibly _ironic_ that is. But really, he could have had - actually really he still could - any girl he wanted, and you do distinctly recall that back then he never actually dated anyone. He had plenty of girls fawning over him, sure, but he never dated anyone. You, well, not just you, everyone just assumed that it was because he had high standards. He might have even said that (you're not sure, since you didn't really speak with him) but it made sense since he was so high on the totem pole of cool, anyway. But suddenly it occurs to you that perhaps that was not the case.

You went to a pretty small school. Like you'd said, you always took Dave for the kind of guy who would get out of the place as quick as possible. But it was quite small, and sort of a little suburban public school. In short it was far from the most accepting place to be, really.

You are suddenly filled with all these offended feelings on Dave's behalf. You imagine it's gotta be awful hiding from who you are, and high school is by far the worst place to have these feelings, and even in your twenties you have to tell your classmate's kid that this is the biggest secret ever. So okay, you are probably blowing this a little out of proportion in your head. Strider was far from an abused Golden Retriever that needed just a monthly donation of a few dollars and you could be his angel. No, Sarah McLachlan, you will not be falling for this siren call this time.

Is what you spend the rest of your day assuring yourself as you finish Casey's birthday dinner and get home to have some birthday cake, but when she asks if you can save a piece to give to Dave, you find yourself agreeing with her. If anything, you are very glad that Casey didn't pick up any homophobia from school or public, and you are pretty happy that she seems to be getting along quite well with Dave.

When she brings up having him for dinner again, as you're tucking her into bed, you tell her you will think about it, but it's up to him, too, and she nods, her eyelids drooping, as she snuggles into her bed and you wish her sweet dreams and she mumbles something back that you don't quite catch.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally wrote up to chapter 6 of this story this weekend because all I did was write write write since I fainted at work!!  
> So here you go guys, sorry for the long delay on this one!
> 
> Also like the biggest thanks to jackii for drawing the cutest fanart ever, like right after I saw it I went bragging to my SO about it because I'm an awful person but it's literally the cutest ever!!!!!!
> 
> Also it's right here everyone with a tumblr should like or reblog it or something because seriously it's nice: http://devilseer.tumblr.com/post/11167696433/

You are Dave Strider and oh god is that birthday cake?

Casey entered to immediately run over to her friends who appeared to be putting on some kind of show that you sense no danger in therefore you are ignoring them. Egbert's the one who sets the cake on the table in front of you.

"... Egbert is that ca--"

He cuts you off with a quick "shhhhh" as he presses an index finger to his lips and wow okay that was admittedly kind of dorkishly cute in a really, really dorky way, like really dorky. "Are you crazy? Words of the Pastrykind are not permitted in facilities such as this. There is not enough to share with everyone, so it doesn't even exist. How did you even get by in grade school?"

You have no idea what to say to this, so you just stare at him, and he grows progressively very uncomfortable under your unwavering stare. After a moment he clears his throat and pushes the wrapped pastry across the table towards you. "Uh, Casey wanted to save a piece for you. You don't have to take it. I mean, I can bring it into work. I'm sure Victoria would eat it, anyway," he smiles a little, nervously, like he's giving you an expensive watch or something and not a slice of fucking cake.

"Nah, I'll take it," you agree, sliding the plate towards you and stashing it in your desk.

He smiles that derpy fucking smile and starts for the door. "I've gotta open shop, um, sorry about being the last one to pick up-" you raise a hand to cut him off and he smiles again before he's off like a White Rabbit. You are still working on lining up this Egbert with the Egbert you had maybe 7 total conversations with in high school and who you probably copied off of someone who had copied off of his homework at least 20 times. You were still having trouble imagining that short, chubby nerd as a dad.

"Dave!! Did Daddy give you the, uh, the thingy?" Casey interrupts your thoughts, peeking at you over the desk and glancing around like her dad delivered cocaine instead of cake.

"Sure did. No worries," you assure and she beams at you before bounding back over to her friends.

Well, he was a pretty good dad, you amended. A really good dad, even. Perhaps the best dad. You imagine that, even though surely Casey was a mistake, the world is probably better off that she was born, introducing Egbert Dad. Although you suppose he could have had a kid later in life, when he was more prepared for it, when he'd settled down with a nice girl. But then you guess you probably wouldn't have gotten to meet him, plus when he was singl--

What are these silly thoughts. If anything, you should be glad you got to meet Casey. Which is still pretty weird. She's just a kid, anyway. Like meeting her has any impression on your life. As an adult.

You know what never mind, you are just going to stop thinking now.

Anyway, a while of Nope Not Thinking About How You Are Feeling Mildly Attracted To Literally The Biggest Dork On The Planet No Siree later, you find yourself once again sitting with the company of none other than Casey Egbert, chattering away at you after the last of the other kids got picked up. She's sitting on your desk again (you had to heft her up there) so your both facing the door, and you think both of you might have a look in your eyes like you're pets waiting for your master to come home.

She's telling you that the cake is really yummy and that you are definitely going to like it. She's telling you stories, letting you into her life with ease, the way kids do. She's explaining to you how her dad is really good at baking, but he only ever does it for special occations, and he only makes things the hard way, he refuses to buy the mixes at stores, and "sometimes when I say we should buy them, he says a bad word. That's what he says. After he says it he covers his mouth and tells me he's sorry and for me not to say that, because it's bad," at which you roll your eyes. Really, from talking to her you learn a lot more about Egbert than you do about her.

You carefully ask about her mom, and immediately regret it.

She gains what you think might be the soberest look ever donned by a seven-year-old in the history of ever. You're about to say that she doesn't need to tell you, but she beats you to it. "She... didn't want me. That's not what Daddy says when we talk about it, but... I think it's what he means. Daddy wanted to stay with her so I would have a Mommy and a Daddy, like everyone else. But I think she said no, and she didn't want to be with me," you really gotta give the kid credit. She wasn't crying. When you were her age, you wouldn't have cried, but you already had years of emotionlessness beaten into you.

"Hey Kiddo," you try to say softly, or as softly as your monotone allows, "I got you a present." She looks at you with her expression all lit up like that sobering conversation never even happened and you tell her to close her eyes while you reach into your pocket. She obeys, too trustworthy, and you slip a small pair of shades over her eyes. She blinks her eyes open again, letting them adjust to the dim tint of the world.

She reaches up to feel them, the pointy edges of the corners, lifting up into what you're still not sure was supposed to be a Squirtle Squad, Gurren Lagann or some other more obscure reference. "For me?" She asks, her voice full of awe.

"Yup, for you," you nod. "They were mine when I was a kid, given to me by my Bro. Sorry I didn't get you anything fancy or something," you shrug, "but see, y'know the nice thing about these?" She looks at you, eyes round as dinner plates peeking over the shades, like you're passing off the baton of eternal happiness. "When you don't want anyone in your head, when you just want to be alone or you want to get away from someone or you want to think about things or even you don't want to think about anything, you can just hide yourself behind these. And no one else can get in as long as you don't let them."

"Yeah," she murmurs, and you think she looks like she's really taking this in, and you wonder if Bro would be proud or not, but suddenly she's asking you if you want to come home for dinner with an Egbert grin and you think maybe he'd be very disappointed in you.

Yeah, Dave, you gave the shades to the Egderp kid? Good thinkin' there Sport, surely the irony will not be wasted on her.

You shut up the Bro in your head to once again explain to Casey that going to dinner with her is not a thing you will be doing and she pouts and says her dad totally invited you, and you roll your eyes even though she can't see it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I just finished chapter 7 and then I went along to show my friend the art jackii did for this fic and I was like MAN I HAVE TO UPDATE THIS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW and so that is what I did.  
> Fun Fact: I have no idea what I'm doing with this fic! Like, at all! How will it end, I wonder!  
> The surprise is the best part, right?  
> Right!!

You're name is John Egbert and you have no idea what feelings Strider is feeling - which really isn't anything new (not that it is particularly old, either). He's been staring at you for a while (you think, it's hard to tell with the shades) with the blankest expression you've ever seen a human hold for so long. You wonder if he was even listening or if, even, he might just be... dead. He could totally be dead right now and you would be none the wiser.

You are pretty sure he is not though.

"What?" He asks after what could have been forever. Casey sighs exaggeratedly, and you're glad that for once you are not the one saying something stupid to cause this. But the look that Dave is now giving you has made you lose all your confidence on the matter.

"Would you... like to come to our place... for dinner sometime?" You ask again, this time with 5x more hesitation. You see both his eyebrows raise from behind his glasses.

"To the Egbert residence?" He clarifies, and you squint at him like he's gone blurry.

"No, to Queen Elizabeth's. I thought you might enjoy a spot of tea in jolly ol' England for a change," you answer sarcastically, and you're a little amazed at yourself for being able to do this. You can't help but think your younger self would sooner throw himself off a bridge than be snippy with Dave Strider.

He actually smiles at this - well, more like smirks, but it's close enough really - and almost, _almost_ laughs. "Right, okay. Maybe. At a later date," his fingers knit together and you think he's thinking that it sounds weird to ask for time to consider doing this. He probably doesn't know that you know, so he's wondering if it isn't weird for a straight guy to need time to consider going to another straight man's house for a normal dinner and maybe a little reminiscing or something.

You think. "'Course, I don't expect you to answer right this very second. Just tell me some other time," you assure.

"We're gonna have Mexican when you come!!" Casey interjects, and you think you might blush a little. You sure hope it isn't noticeable, gosh.

"I am considering making Hispanic food for the occasion, yes," you add carefully and he nods a little, rubbing his neck.

"Yeah. I'll, uh, think about it," you can't believe that Dave Strider just "uh"ed. That is not a thing Dave Striders do.

"Dave!!" Casey complains, but you shush her.

"That's fine. I'll see you on Monday," you smile and he's suddenly very perplexed.

"I work weekends," he informs you.

"I don't," you answer, and he looks... oh gosh, you think he might look embarrassed by the fact that he assumed you did?

"Okay, cool, Monday," he you think mumbles and nods a little and Casey is all smiles as you bid him farewell and set off.

You watch her carefully as she angles a silly looking pair of shades onto her face and you imagine they must have been a gift from Dave. You are not sure about the mixed feelings you have on the matter. On one hand, you're not sure you like all this rubbing off he's doing - first with his speech (you hope that doesn't get _worse_ oh jeez) and now maybe with this irony or... shade-wearing you're not really sure what it is. What if she becomes Casey Motherfucking Strider.

Egbert.

Wait.

On the other hand, you're... kind of glad. That she's taking him in as an adult figure in her life, so she doesn't just have you. Because you think you're okay, but you shouldn't be the only influential adult in a child's life, you imagine. You kind of like that Dave is being a... a brother, sort of? You think?

You kind of like that Casey likes him, and you think he likes Casey too. Or doesn't dislike her, which is good, because you always took Dave for the type that doesn't get along grandly with children.

"I think he likes you," you have to pause to realize that you are not the one who said that.

"What?" You look down at Casey, perplexed (and notice her bangs are getting pretty long, maybe you should go for a haircut, you could use one too).

She looks up at you from behind those silly pointy shades and you think she is _deliberately pokerfacing at you_ which both scares and comforts you and you don't know what to do with all these feelings aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. "Dave!" She huffs, and you're glad at least she's not monotoning or anything.

"What about Dave?"

"He _likes_ you, jeez!" You're pretty sure she's rolling her eyes now, and you are once again the one asking silly questions.

"Well, I don't think he dislikes me? I mean, why do you think he wouldn't like me?" You give her a smile but all you get in return is an _oh jeez she is totally pokerfacing right now_. There is a very long pause before you let out the most nervous laugh a child has ever gotten out of you. " _What?_ " You ask, getting it, and she finally smiles at you, a big Egbert Family smile.

"Yeah!" She points at you and you frown a little until she retracts it. She knows pointing is rude, jeez! "Like he wants to come on to you! Or wants you to... come on to him maybe?"

"C-Casey, please!" You exasperate, "gosh don't talk like that, what is Dave teaching you?"

"Doesn't that mean asking out to a date?" She huffs.

"Kind... of, but not... I mean... yeah, okay," you mumble, not really wanting to discuss it and also oh gosh the speech it totally getting worse.

"Is this gonna be a date?" She asks.

"Is... what gonna be?"

"This dinner! Is that a date?"

"No," you state as she finishes asking, which is pretty rude of you.

"Why not?!"

"Because... we're not, like... _dating_."

She rolls her eyes again, "course not, 'cause you having been on a date yet!"

"Casey..." you murmur, trying to think of the right way to tell her this.

She fiddles with her fingers, looking ahead of you like she's thinking it over, too. "Daddy, do you... only like girls?" She asks and looks at you with eyes like you've somehow broken her heart, like she expected more of you, like she thought you were missing something big here, and for a moment you think _what if you are_?

"Why... do you want me to date Dave, Casey?" You ask carefully and she squeezes the hand you've been holding.

"Because I think he likes you! And I want you to be liked! And I think he likes me! And... I want us to be like a family. I just want you to be liked the way Mommy should have liked you, and I want him to like _me_ the way Mommy should have liked me, a-and," before she can continue, you swoop her up into your arms and carry her bridle style, cradling her into your chest and 'shhh'ing her. "I just want you to be happy, and I want Dave to be happy too," she murmurs, snuggling into your chest.

"Okay," you whisper back, not really sure what you're okaying, but you think it's okay.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What am I even doing with this story aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I don't know but I watched Baccano! this weekend and just rewatched Howl's Moving Castle and we're starting archery in gym so I'm in a good mood, here have a Monday update! Oh and my SO went to Comic Con and since I couldn't go this year they got be a beecat charm from Johnny Wander AND two prints, one of John and Dave and one of John and Casey.
> 
> Hey London if you're reading this I'm talking about you and bragging about you mwah mwah good friend, best soulmate xoxo etc.

You are Dave Strider and you are perplexed, not that anyone would be able to see this on your face, not that you aren't just surrounded by little kids anyway. It is snack time and you are currently wearing the most ironic pink apron that you could find on the short notice it took when you first realized that snack time at a day care was serious business that got seriously messy. You are trying to keep your eyes on all the kids to make sure no one chokes and dies while you aren't looking, while you stand at the front desk with the phone cradled between your ear and shoulder because you guess this place can't afford a fucking cordless phone. You didn't even know phone cords were still a real thing.

"Egbert?" You ask carefully, even though you know who it is because well actually he answered with 'hello, this is John,' and not at all because you know the sound of his voice or anything weird like that. Because that would be weird.

"Hey Dave, sorry about the sudden call. You aren't too busy or anything, right? I can do this later if something big is going down!" Somehow you feel like his voice is different, and not in that phone kind of way, more like in a personal-call kind of way, which is weird, because up until this point you never thought he was being particularly formal, but this call feels like it's proving you wrong.

"Nah bro, just snack time all up in this bitch," you assure.

"Dave!" He huffs, and you roll your eyes, "wow, language please! You know Casey is picking up some of your verbalizations and I am wondering if I am going to have to sue you or something,"

"Is that what this call is about?" You mutter, "anyway I am totes out of the hearing range of all these kids, okay?"

"Not okay. How far are you? Is anyone choking?"

You lean over the desk again to check, wondering when it was that you took your eyes off of the brats. "Nope, everyone's good."

"You totally just checked. Wow, Dave. Just wow."

"Egbert are you seriously calling me right now to nag me out about my babysitting habits while you simultaneously make them worse by distracting me? Is that your goal?"

"Uh, no actually, but I guess I feel weird about what I am calling about?" You actually pull a face and thank the gods no one is there to witness it. "I mean, this totally could have waited until Monday, I guess, but I'm usually in a hurry in the mornings and Casey was really dead-set on this, jeez," he's pretty much mumbling to himself at this point.

"Egbert what is it, I am supposed to be watching children."

"You can," he starts.

"Egbert _please_ , just tell me."

"Uh, I guess I was just wondering when your next day off was?"

You blink hard, like that would somehow change what you heard, before once again leaning over to check on the kids. A few of them have finished their food and are looking in your direction like they're thinking about walking over to you but they think you're in a very important call. "Wh-why?" Shit, did you really just stutter, is that a real thing you just did. Shit. Fuck. You are so displeased with yourself right now.

"Just... uh, never mind, sorry, this is weird," he laughs nervously and one kid has decided to brave the storm and is carefully lifting herself off from the floor to come towards you.

"Ffff- dam- shi- Egbert, would you please just tell me why," you practically snap. You do this quietly, but the little girl can clearly see the agitation on your face and she falters a little in her steps.

"Gosh I don't know.... I mean, maybe, uh... I mean I guess I was just wondering if... I was just uh," he's mumbling again and the girl is trying to approach you again like she is sneaking up on you.

"Egbert," you warn.

"I don't know I guess I was just sort of maybe asking you out sometime or something like that but that sounds so dumb oh JEEZ," he breaths out in a run-on sentence.

You slightly collapse into your arms on the front desk, still peeking out enough to watch the girl as you feel your lips pull into a betraying smirk that is a borderline smile. "John Egbert, are you coming onto me, is that what is going on right now?" You chuckle a little, and you think you can hear him gasp and you're not sure if it's because of your "verbalizations" or if it's because you laughed.

"Yeah I guess that's a thing I might be doing. Uh, hesitantly," he agrees in a quiet voice. "I mean, like, don't, uh... I mean I've never," he goes on.

"Yeah?" You chuckle again as you lift your head to look down at the girl who's finally reached you.

"Yeah that's the thing I am doing, I am kind of coming onto you, okay? I'm asking you out on a total date and everything and it's really embarrassing and I feel like a teenager again, like a nervous fuck oh jeez," he admits as the girl tugs a little at the hem of your shirt and you're suddenly fucking grinning but you don't think it matters if the only one seeing it is a 5-year-old.

"Yeah, yeah, okay, stop having a freakin' meltdown. Snack time is coming to a close so I kinda gotta head out. But I have next Tuesday and Wednesday off, and then also next Saturday and Sunday. I'll talk to you later?"

"Uh yeah, you have my home and cell number. I mean, the centre does, on Casey's papers. I am giving you permission to check those out and write them down even though this is not an emergency, you have my verbal and written permission."

"You better seriously be writing it down somewhere," you warn.

"Totally am, on the back of a grocery list and everything, is this ironic enough for you?"

You can't muster the answer you want to say (something like "fuck Egbert you are making me lose my fucking shit in front of this little kid, this kid is going to grow up remembering how incredibly uncool I was on the phone that one time at day care and she's going to find me when I'm thirty and just remind me of it") so instead you mumble a "kay bye" and hang up before anymore can be said.

"Was that your girlfriend?" The little girl asks, instead of whatever question she originally had. You sink down to the floor to lean back against the desk. "I never saw you smile like that 'fore. You looked happy! So it was your girlfriend, right?"

You stare at her a moment, trying to recompose yourself so you can at least keep this uncool breakdown between the two of you. "Man, I hope," you tell her, and this makes her smile and it takes everything in you to not smile back.

"Can we do something else now? Everyone finished snacks!"

"Yeah, okay, what d'ya wanna do?" You ask, standing back up and slipping the apron off to follow her back to the kids.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay finally updated this! I only have up to chapter 9 written so far so I dunno when the next update will be  
> but I just saw Rocky Horror live and one of my favourite local singers was Brad and my friend introduced us and now my first meeting with him he was in drag this is quite literally the best thing ever I am so pleased.
> 
> Also, since it's been brought up often enough, I'm gonna say that my tumblr is the-dave-of-guy and if you want to follow me you can feel free and I might but probably will follow you back because I love people.

You are John Egbert and your daughter is currently grinning at you like you just solved world hunger or something oh jeez.

"You said a bad word!" Is the first thing she tells you, and you nod a little.

"I know I did, and I'm sorry. Don't," you start, but she cuts you off.

"I wont ever say it, I know!" She rolls her eyes like this is common sense, which pleases you. "Sooooooooo?" She leans towards you, her smile growing.

"We're gonna... do something sometime okay, jeez!" You huff back and she nods like you passed some test or something, which you think might be what just happened. Honestly, you don't really know what's happening. You think you just started planning what may eventually turn into a date.

*A date!!!!!!!

With Dave Motherfucking Strider!!

That is not a real thing that real John Egberts do, of this you are sure. You guess you've always thought of yourself as straight, but not like to the point that it was something you were assertive of really. You were never popular, you were hardly ever asked out by girls and you were definitely never asked out by any boys. And since Casey was born you've never asked anyone out and you think you kind of became this Unapproachable Dad Figure or something. But still, it was less the fact that you just asked out a boy and also that it was due to Casey hedging you on as it was that it was, need you remind, Dave Strider.

Dave.

Strider.

Oh gosh.

What were you thinking when you did that. When you asked....

Asked out Dave Strider.

Like, on a date.

Oh gosh.

And you think that Dave Strider agreed to this being a thing that goes down.

Dave Strider agreed to go on a date with you.

Is this real life?

Oh gosh.

You pretty much want the day to yourself to quietly freak out about this, which Casey seems to sense because she's already standing on her tip-toes and getting a big tub of ice cream and two spoons even though you haven't had dinner yet. Before you know what's happening you and her are halfway through the ice cream with her snuggled in your lap while you watch The Family Man. She hasn't seen Con Air yet, which forever irks you, but you're waiting. It's a pretty intense movie so you want to wait until she's older, but not too much older so it feels too late. On her tenth birthday you decided will be the day. You are greatly looking forward to the day.

But for today, Casey and you are watching The Family Man, which is the closest thing to an okay kids movie that he's acted in and you really need a touching tale of true love right now while you two binge on ice cream for dinner. You think this is probably fine once in a while, considering all the cake Dad gave you growing up anyway, and you turned out just fine. One or two nights of ice cream for dinner and maybe waffles for breakfast tomorrow with lots of syrup and whipped cream and strawberries and blueberries maybe all arranged into a face of some sort won't hurt. That sounds nice. You should definitely do that.

Casey falls asleep in the middle of the movie, which you always tried to teach her was rude, but like everything else you let it slide today. She had a pretty tiring day, what with hooking you up with her babysitter and everything. Bringin' home the bacon and all that! So you carry her to her room and lay her down, covering her in her My Little Pony blanket that you find yourself thinking Dave might approve of, ironically.

You brush this off and return to your room, curling up under your blankets and resuming the movie and ice cream session. At the very least, you will see it out to the end.

At 8: 37 your phone rings, and it's not a number you recognize so you ignore it. They don't leave a message, but they do stay on the line long enough to seem like they wanted to, which you find weird and then you end up just sort of staring at your phone like it's supposed to apologize. It rings again at 8:57, which is a weirdly specific 20 minute break, but it's the same number so you pick up (hesitantly).

"Wow way to leave me hanging," it's a familiar monotone that you don't think you're ready to deal with just yet but you kind of want to tease him.

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting such a quick callback and all. And anyway what was that message you left? If you said something instead of gaping at the phone I would have picked up!"

"What gaping, Egbert? There was no gaping. You weren't there," he answers in an easy drawl and you smile a little and _oh no you don't, you are not a kid with a crush_.

"Oh you must have left a message too high-pitched for my ears to pick up on," you tease back.

"Maybe I did, you don't know me," he sounds a little strained, and you can't tell if it's because he's doing something else or if it's because he thinks you're actually taking this seriously. "Speaking of things you can't - or in this case, don't want to - hear, is that Nic Cage, are you watching a Nic Cage movie right now?"

"Wow it is totally weird that that is a thing you can tell. And that's coming from _me_."

"So that's true, then?"

"That I'm watching Nic Cage? Yeah. It's The Family Man. I have mint chocolate chip ice cream, too."

".... Did someone break up with you, did your date ditch you on prom, it's okay Egbert you don't have to eat your feelings," he starts.

"Wow shut up Dave, rude much!!"

"I meant Nic Cage. I remember hearing in high school that you had like a massive homocrush on the guy."

"Okay I like his acting and I have seen and also own like every single one of his movies, yes, that is a fact."

"That's what I said, right?" You think his tone got lighter, like he was close to laughing.

"You don't know me," you return, hoping to elicit a laugh again.

"I'd like to," he answers, perfectly smooth, like he was waiting for the opportunity and you are totally stunned by this. Here you were, starting to think maybe this coolkid wasn't such a coolkid after all and maybe in reality he was a little bit nervous on the phone and he sometimes chuckled at work and then he goes and just hits on you, cool as fuck (pardon your French). You guess you're actually stunned for a pretty long time, because he mumbles, "was that too much?"

"Wh- no, sorry! I, uh... I just didn't," you almost drop a glob of ice cream on your blankets but catch it in your mouth just in time.

"I can stop. I mean, not do... that. I can," he tries but you're already all up and nervous now.

"No, you can totally do that! That is completely a thing that is in your control and you can do if you see fit! That, uh," you hear him chuckle again and it sounds even nicer this time and you lean your ear a little more into the phone, like maybe you can catch more of it this way. "Sorry," you breath out a little laugh of your own once you're sure you wont be getting any more of his, "I'm not used to this."

"This," he repeats, and you find yourself imagining just the way his mouth would form the word.

"Uh, this," you say again.

"Really, I can tone it down in you want. It's not actually, like, a requirement of mine to be a flirtatious jerk 24/7," he assures.

"Well, 24/7 would be a bit much," you agree, "but really you don't have to... I mean, it feels weird, thinking that you actually, uh, want to flirt with me?"

"Because I'm a guy?" He asks like the question is made of glass.

"Because you're Dave Strider. And I'm John Egbert. It's not weird to you?"

"Our names?"

"No, that I'm," you start again, getting a little anxious.

"I know what you mean. I am purposefully pretending I do not because I think that what you are implying is very silly, perhaps even stupid, and I refuse to acknowledge it as an actual concern."

"O-oh," you stammer.

"Saturday. Can you get Kid Egbert a babysitter or to a friend's house or something? I'll even go about it all professional and shit, pick you up at 7, et cetera."

You smile again and let out a little maybe-what-might-be-a-giggle. "Yeah, okay. Saturday. Sure you can wait that long, Strider?"

It sounds like he has something to say on the matter, and he let's out a sound that seems like it should lead to a sentence, but it cuts off again. "Yeah. 'Course. Can you hold yourself over that long?"

"I think I can make it," you nod, even though he can't see this action.

"Good then. Saturday. At 7."

"I'll see you Monday."

"Can't wait." The line goes dead before you can reply, and you think maybe he didn't actually mean to say that last part. You hang up with a smile and take two more bites of ice cream before tucking it away in the freezer and finishing off your movie in what you refuse to admit might be a happy stupor.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So today I got some nice gifts but also all my teachers were fucking assholes  
> But my SO got me a mint mocha frappe so this chapter is dedicated to anyone who likes them!!  
> And is especially undedicated to Chiropter!!!!
> 
> Also I'm going to see Dracula tomorrow!!!!!!!

You are Dave Strider and Casey Egbert is wearing your shades the next time you see her, and Egbert is wearing an expression like he's not sure what to do about this. You compliment her tiara before she gives you a big grin and skips away to her friends and leaves you with The Dad for a moment. He gives you an uneasy little smile.

"How many has she got?" You ask instead of anything important like, for instance, well actually really anything.

"Tiaras?" He asked, making a face like this is the last question he was expecting from you, "uh, jeez, a lot I guess. I get her new ones a lot. Actually, I just got that one yesterday! I feel bad, since we don't have lots of money. I mean, we don't do bad or anything, but I wish I could buy her nicer stuff. She's my little princess, after all," he smiles sheepishly and glances away, like he's not sure if this is a thing he's allowed to say to you. You're pleased, because it feels like an am-I-allowed-to-talk-about-my-daughter-to-my-romantic-interest sort of way.

You want to ask him about Casey more, you like the way he talks about her, and you want to tell him he's a good dad and that you'd probably fall apart in his shoes, and you want to find out about Casey's mom and ask what you should do on your date and you want to know but not ask if it will be safe to kiss him or really touch him at all. But you don't ask any of these things. You just give him a little smile, hardly a hint of one, nothing too much, but enough to let him know that he isn't overstepping some sort of imaginary boundary. He gives you a big grin back before he heads out for work.

You ponder how much money they have while you hope Casey has at least a metric fuckton of plastic tiaras. Any fewer would simply be a crime. Perhaps you should have gotten her one of those instead of giving her your old shades. She's Egbert's kid after all, not yours, and if Egbert wants to treat her like a princess, you should probably respect that and not treat her like a... well, a Strider. As much as you would love to get her a nice little sword, start with a bamboo one probably, train her up a bit to defend herself. No, Strider, stop that. Treat her like a normal little girl, like you would any other little girl. Why do you keep trying to treat her like a Strider, dammit.

A wailing interrupts your monologue and really, fighting children is pretty much the last thing you want to deal with. But life does not work that way and you are Dave Strider: Babysitter Extraordinaire so you have to _holy shit what the actual fuck has happened_.

Casey is the one wailing, which immediately scares the shit out of you and you wonder what punk said what mean thing to her, but it doesn't look like harsh words were what were exchanged. She's bleeding, which is scarier. From her head, which you know from experience is, like, the last place you want to be bleeding from. You're quickly scooping her up into your arms and asking what happened but no one seems to want to answer. You repeat the question, a little louder, until another little girl whimpers out, "I didn't mean to!"

She's all in tears and you feel the urge to be mad dwindling out of you. You decide you'll sort out the rest later as you try to get a hold of any other workers to come in and watch the kid, and getting no answer you instead call up an old friend who arrives within minutes so you can rush Casey off to the hospital.

You consider that you might lose your job for this, especially for calling in Makara to watch the kids - in your defense, he's good with kids _and_ he seemed sober - and this job is your first source of income in quite a while and you can't really afford to lose it, especially if you want to take Egbert out on a nice date, but you're so scared for Casey. You know a little wound like this wouldn't kill her. When you were her age, you got banged up plenty, fell off a few roofs even, and you've only been to a hospital once (when you broke your leg in 10th grade) but you can feel yourself panicking anyway.

You get her there and she's trying to dry her tears around your old shades and some nurses take her, assuring you it's nothing too big and that she'll be fine and asking if you're the parent, looking at you like you're clearly too young which somehow pisses you off.

"I'm not. I'm her babysitter," you bite, and she flinches a little.

"Do you have the parents' number? They should be the one picking her up."

You almost bite your lip in indecision before realizing how lame that would be and instead nodding. "Yeah. I'll call him," you assure as she leaves and you sit in the waiting room and take out your cell, getting Egbert's cell number up.

It rings five times before he finally answers. "Hello?" There's a dog barking in the background.

You panic for a second, not sure where to start, and let out a lame, choked, "sup?"

"Dave? Is that you? I'm kind of work and, uh, so are you. This isn't really a great time for Strider-style wooing or whatever it is you do on phones anymore," his tone is light and you can hear a woman in the background calm down the dog.

"Sorry," you mumble.

"No need to apologize, just isn't it common sense that we're working, so," he half-laughs.

"No, sorry. I'm at the hospital. I just... I zoned out for a second or something and, uh... shit," you rub your temples, "Casey fell or... was pushed maybe, I don't know, but she hit her head. She was bleeding. I mean, not too bad. And the nurses all say she'll be fine and... it didn't look bad. I don't think she'll even need stitches. Shit, I'm sorry."

"Gosh... you're sure it isn't too bad? And don't apologize, it's not your fault. It's not like you can remain vigilant constantly. Kids are kids. Turn your back for half a second and someone's hurt. As long as it isn't too serious."

"It's not, I swear. I think she hit it on the side of one of those stupid plastic tables. You know, those ones that are, like, primary colours and the legs are a different colour from the," you start rambling.

"Dave," he interrupts.

"Sorry. It's just a design train-wreck, okay?"

"Thanks for calling me, though," he adds.

"Oh, shit, no. You have to come down. Their making a big deal out of me being the one here. Said you gotta pick her up."

"Oh. Uh. Can you just, like, tell them that my car is in the shop or something? And you can take her back?"

"Is the pet shop busy or something because I mean really, Egbert, you work at a pet shop."

"Uh no. Actually I don't have a car," he laughs nervously, "or a license. I never learned how to drive."

"I... actually believe you. This actually fits in well with the image I have of you. Okay, I'll try to take care of this. Do you want her back to the centre?"

"Uh," he pauses, but you hear him pull away from the phone and have another conversation with the woman. "Could you drop her off here? I mean, at the shop, maybe? It'll be fine for the day. Who's watching the kids?"

"Sure, that's fine. And an old friend. I might lose my job. Et cetera, et cetera."

"Dave!!"

"It's fine, don't get your panties in a twist. Oh hey, look, here's the brave lil' girl herself," you hand off the phone to Casey and stand up to talk the nurses into letting you take Casey back. They give in eventually, after talking to Egbert over the phone. You can't really prove that Egbert is her dad, but you guess you convince them that you aren't a mass murderer or something. Casey makes her way onto your shoulders until you nestle her into your old Caddie and head back toward town. Casey points out the way to the shop sleepily and you guess they probably gave her something so her head wouldn't hurt.

You get her inside and Egbert is literally just in a pile of fucking kittens jesus christ is this real life. He's sitting on the floor on a towel with a little gate around it and he smiles up at the two of you. "Hey Casey, we got some kitties today. Do you want to meet them?" She's smiling again in no time and Egbert stands up so he can lift her into the pen and she drops to her knees to play with them.

There's a woman behind the desk who looks like she's probably just fresh out of high school and she has black hair and red lips and she's giving you a sort of suspicious look like she's seen you somewhere before. You're going to assume, for the sake of the story, that she is the Victoria that would have been given your slice of cake had you not claimed it.

"Sorry about all this," you apologize again, hoping Egbert can numb Casey's pain with kittens.

"Stop apologizing already. I said it wasn't your fault," he laughs a little nervously, like he's not sure what to do in this setting. "Thank you for all of this, though. It would have taken me a while to get there by bus.

"It was the least I could do," you rub your neck, thinking it's about time to bolt as you take an uncertain step backwards. He quickly grabs your free wrist and tugs you back just a little, leaning forward and standing on his tip-toes to give you a peck that you think was aimed for your lips but instead lands on that dip under your lip and above your chin, and his teeth kind of bump your lip and pinch it in a way that hurts a little but doesn't draw blood.

He teeters back, blushing an impressive shade of red, and retracts his hand. "Sorry. I mean. Thanks. Again. Um. Jeez. Sorry."

You feel a smile tug at your lips as you bury your hands in your pockets but lean down a little and return a peck, actually on the lips, and it feels weird and foreign and you think you're lips are going to tingle with the sensation of Egbert for maybe even hours to come. "No prob," you assure, and he gives you a big dopey smile. Casey is still playing with the kittens and Victoria is looking away like she hadn't seen anything happen at all.

"Get back to work, Strider. You left those kids with a stranger!" He teases, and you bow out and head back to the centre, hoping Makara at least didn't toke up or anything. That would pretty much be the worst.

Shit you just kissed John Egbert. Well, you pecked, but still. How was this big nerd getting you so disarmed, anyway?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special update! I don't know if I'll update this next week, since I would like to write a oneshot and also write the last chapter of Blue Skies, so have this for now!!

You are John Egbert and you don't think you've ever done something as stupid as that thing that you just did. Like, wow. That was stupid. What even possessed you to do that? You are turning out to be gayer than you originally intended, you think.

" _So_..." Victoria leans over the counter to give you a look, her dark eyelids drooping into something sly. "Dave Strider, huh?" Her ruby lips quirk into a smile and you flinch.

"What. No. What," you panic.

"What, you think I don't know him? You know, when you guys were seniors, I was in 7th grade. Of course I knew about Dave Strider. Anyway, he still does a little bit of DJing on the side and sometimes I hear him around clubs. He's more like a legend, though. The way Dave Strider always has been, right? Except," she pauses, pursing her lips a little, "to you, I suppose?"

"Do we have to talk about this, or," you start hesitantly.

"No, we pretty much have to talk about this. It's kind of a big deal. I mean, don't get me wrong, kid," she always called you kid, even though you're older than her, "you can kiss whoever you want to kiss, y'know? Ain't none of my business. You coulda just kissed the president of the US goodbye and I wouldn't give half a damn, but that was Dave Strider."

"Dave obviously takes priority over the Pres," you nod.

"Dave Strider does, yes."

"Why do you call him Dave Strider like that?"

"That's how you call legends, right? Like Al Capone and Bill Gates and George Washington?" You kind of see where she's coming from with this. "So anyway, spill the beans. What went down?" You squirm uncomfortably under her intense looks.

"Jeez, nothing, it just happened, okay?" You mumble, glancing over at Casey. You can see that she did get some stitches, but only a few, and Dave was right when he said it wasn't a big deal. She was still mildly sedated and just lazily playing with the kittens.

"Dating Dave Strider does not Just Happen, John," she raises her finely plucked eyebrows at you and you lean into the counter a little, facing her.

"It did, though. Jeez, I don't know, he's working at Casey's daycare centre," you pause at the look she gives you, "ironically, I guess," you add, "and... gosh, I don't know. He really gets along with Casey and Casey loves him, and it just kind of happened."

Her expression gets much less teasing and much more serious. "John, you aren't doing this just for Casey, right?" She asks and your eyes grow wide with the tone she's using, "it's pretty common for single parents to try to date someone just because their kids like them, but you have to like him, too. And not just like a friend. Not like you want him to be her godfather or an older brother or something, John. This is serious. These are Casey's and, you know what, Dave Strider's feelings you're playing with."

You bite your lip, shifting from foot to foot as she eyes you down. "I guess it started like that. I mean, maybe it's still like that. I don't know, it all just... happened! But I don't think it's like I don't feel anything for him, and we were never friends before so it's not like I want him to be my BFF or anything. I already kind of told him that I don't really know what I'm doing right now. Jeez, V, I'm just giving it a try, okay! It's not like I'm some big stud and I just have people falling all over me and I just want to mess with them! I just want to see what's... happening. And maybe when it all slows down, I'll realize. If it's good or bad. And I wont lead him along or anything like that! I'm not a jerk," you mumble, slowly sinking into the desk as she gives you an amused little smile.

"Okay, stud, I gottcha," she ruffles your hair a little.

"Good, because I need a favour?" You lift your head to give her a sheepish smile, and she rolls her eyes but she's still smiling. "I was gonna go out with Dave on Saturday and have Casey stay with a friend for the day, but with her head cut like that I'd rather she didn't get into too much rough-housing until it's all healed up, so maybe can you watch her for the day? Also I might take the next few days or this week off to keep her at home because as soon as the meds wear off she's gonna hurt. I'll get someone else to come in, but you'll need to open up?" She nods along to you.

"Yeah, that's fine, I understand. Feel free to come in and visit with her any time this week," she gives you a smile, and you give her a hug from across the desk.

"You are literally the best employee ever, V! The pet shop would go under without you!"

She pushes you away, laughing. "Alright, you two can head home for the day. It's slow here, anyway. You can even take one of the kittens home for a little while so Casey has some company," she waves you off and you tell Casey she can pick one, just one, and she takes a little black one, the runt of the litter. You grab some supplies for taking care of it for the week, while she murmurs different names into it's soft fur. You tell her it's a girl, and her names shift into the obscenely girly.

Thanking Victoria for everything ever, you head of with Casey's hand in yours to walk home. As you pass by the centre Casey stops in her tracks.

"Do you want to go in and say hi?" You ask, leaning down to meet her eyes. She nods a little, slowly. You push open the door and let her in ahead of you and in no time a little girl is running up to her and crying and apologizing. You imagine she was the cause of the whole thing, but Casey greets her with a sleepy little smile and directs the girl to pet the kitten. You murmur "play nice" before slipping off to Dave's side.

"I'm gonna keep her at home for a while," you inform him.

"I'm," he starts, but you'll have none of it.

"Don't say sorry," you warn, and he closes his mouth. "Jeez. Victoria is gonna watch Casey on Saturday, 'cause I don't want her messing around until it's all healed up and stuff. So we're still on, right?" You flash him a smile, but you don't feel very confident about it, and gosh you're teeth are the worst!!

"Of course we are, shit, are you kidding me?" He stops as Casey comes back over to you, the other little girl finally drying her eyes, and Dave crouches down to inspect the wriggling kitten that Casey is offering to show him. "Oh sweet, it's a real cutie, you gotta name?" He asks, reaching out to pet the little thing. His fingers are calloused but he's hands are less clumsy than Casey's and the kitten leans into his scratching fingers.

"Her. She's a girl. I was thinking Sprinkles," she smiles at Dave and for a moment, he returns the gesture.

"Sprinkles?" He asks.

"Do you know a name?"

"Nah, man, I am the worst at naming pets. Take up a counsel with your dad on that one," he shakes his head and she looks up at you.

"Jeez, Casey, we're only keeping her for the week..." you murmur, but both her and Dave turn to look at you like you're the bad guy, "uh, I don't... let's decide her name when we get home, okay?" You give her a smile and she nods, holding the kitten into her chest. "Let's go now," you hold out your hand for her, but she pulls Dave towards her to whisper in his ear. You wait patiently, watching the tiny smile that quirks the corners of Dave's lips.

"Not today, Kiddo. Some other time, though. I promise."

She smiles and gives Dave a hug, which he hesitantly returns, careful of the kitten between them. With that, you're off again, heading home for some well deserved lunch and a movie marathon until Casey falls asleep. You think you could ask her what she had asked Dave, but you don't.

You guess that's a secret you don't really mind her keeping.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cottege did you mean cortege??  
> No stop sorry I meant a it was really late okay computer shut up
> 
> BUT HEY I decided to update because I've lost control of my life and made a Jake tumblr rp account and I'm starting to ship Jake/Bro and Bro isn't even here yet and I'm a bad person so on and so forth
> 
> Dave being silly: the chapter
> 
> OH WAIT!!  
> More fanart everyone should see:  
> http://sheepskin.tumblr.com/post/12535789570/fanfic-appreciation-life  
> they also drew me!!  
> I'm not sure if they have an AO3 account I can directly thank here because I have no idea who's here and who's on tumblr but yeah

You are Dave Strider and you're not too sure if you want to be perfectly on time or fashionably late.

You imagine that Egbert would prefer you being perfectly on time, and it would take him by surprise and perhaps even the heartstrings. But fashionably late was more your style anyway.

Well, it was for normal events, because you usually actually forgot about them and arrive late because, well, it slipped your mind. But this is not that. You've been debating this for a good hour now, and it's 6:31 and google maps says that Egbert's place is 26 minutes driving distance so it's now or never, on time or late.

So you leave posthaste and it ends up taking 21 minutes, so now it's 6:52 and early was not your plan of action. You pull over across the street from his house and shift your seat as far back as it will go and think that you should just... wait until it's 7. or 7:02 even. Does that seem too planned? Would 7:03 seem more spontaneous?

You hear a rap at your window and practically jump out of your skin. You wonder if it's the cops and maybe the owner of the house who's lawn you are partially parked on called them. You would really hate to call John from jail, that would be a pretty douche baggy thing to do. First from the hospital after you let his kid sustain a head wound, then from jail? Woo Master Strider all up in here.

You roll down your tinted windows because it's fucking night time and your windows are tinted and your wearing shades so pretty much everything is just darkness.

"I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car, sir," you hear the man insist, and you throw a look at the time. 6:57. By the time you get to a goddamn police station it will be well after 7, and with this realization you groan as you carefully open the door of your caddy and shift out of the car. Before you know what's happening his hands are on your chest, slightly and teasingly pushing you back into the framework of your car and you will be fucking damned if this police officer hits on you, but suddenly, "jeez Strider, what have you even been doing out here? Are you scared of me all of the sudden?" John laughs and you let out a harsh exhale of breath.

"You scared the shit out of me, fuck face," you growl. It's more out of instinct, but John looks instantly hurt. "Fuck, no, sorry. I just, uh, didn't want to be... early," you admit like the lame fuck you are, but he graces you with a smile. "How long have you known I was here?"

"Margret called when you pulled onto her lawn! She said some weird car pulled up, like, all up on her lawn and she was scared and asked if I would investigate the matter, and when I looked out the window I recognized your car, so I thought I'd mess with you. Um, sorry!"

You ruffle his hair and shake your head, "no, dude, it's fine. I was just thinkin' how I would explain to you that I got arrested. Are you ready or what?"

"Yeah, totally, just let me run over and tell Margret that you aren't, like, a villain and that you're just a dumb nervous wreck who parked on her lawn!"

"That's not what happened, I wasn't nervous, Egbert, it's just dark and I'm wearing shades and there's not really a place to park or anything, you weren't there," you call after him as he runs up to the door of the house and you lean into the roof of your car. The elderly woman who answers the door watches you the entire time Egbert explains what happened (and you can only imagine what words he's using) before she nods and gives him a smile and slowly closes her door again as he jogs back to you and slides into the passenger seat.

"So what's the game plan?" He asks excitedly as you slide into the car after him and try to really just get off this lady's lawn.

"Wow, Egbert, could you be a little less romantic? I really think you're pushing it here, you've got me swooning."

He pulls a face that's somewhere between rolling his eyes without actually doing so and 'oh god sorry that was lame you are right,' and he pulls it off perfectly. "So you aren't going to answer, then?"

"What am I without the element of surprise?"

You see him grin out of your peripheral. "You sure are full of surprises, Strider!" He assures.

"Could say the same about you," you return, and are greeted with a puzzled face, "seriously?"

"What, I am like the least surprising person! I'm like a big bundle of predictability!"

"That's actually the opposite of what you are," you smirk a little and you can see his eyes go wide like that's the biggest surprise of them all, "when I picked up that phone, the last thing I expected was for Daddy John Egbert to ask me out."

He opens his mouth a few times but can't seem to find the right words. You wait for him anyway. "Well, Casey..." he finally mumbles.

"Did your kid tell you to date me?" You ask jokingly, but there's a long silence in the car.

"Define tell," he finally answers, and you turn to look at him but he sputters and points at the road franticly, so you return to looking at it.

"Egbert," you start, but you can't get any farther.

"I know! It sounds really dumb and, uh, like I'm one of those parents who dates who their kids like and not who they like or something like that, or like I did it just to appease her but I... I didn't. I don't think I did, anyway. I mean, I don't know you _that_ well, so I don't know if I'm madly in love with you and gosh Dave let's buy a little cottage by the sea and raise Casey with cute little blue dresses and get super mock upset when she meets a cute little boy from the nearby town, et cetera, et cetera," he takes a breath, and from the deep stain of his cheeks your thinking he didn't mean to say all those things he just spilled out of his mouth flaps. "But I didn't do it just because, either. I guess. Unless you agreed just because. Then I totally did it just because."

You raise an eyebrow, but from the way he can only see your right side he might think you raised them both. "Did you do it just because?"

"Did you?" You start turning your head towards him again but he panics, "no! I mean. No. I didn't. I guess I kind of like you. I mean, who _doesn't_ like you?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised," you interject, but he pretends he didn't hear it.

"But I guess, from the, uh, initial analysis, I'd safely say that I like you... more than I normally like people. Well, not more. Just, hmm," he's pretty much mumbling now.

"Different?" You offer, scared you gave the wrong answer.

"Different. Yeah," he's smiling at you again. "I like you different."

You let out a breath of a laugh and wonder how long you've been holding it, and if he noticed. "I like you different too," you assure.

His mouth twitches. "Casey told me. Uh, that you told her that you're gay," he adds, and you flinch a little. "Um, sorry! Well, that this ride is turning into John Egbert Confesses Everything. And, um, don't worry! I had to _force_ her to tell me with pleas of _Casey no I'm your Daddy_ and I made sure to double assure her not to tell other people. She's a good girl, and she wont. If you're worried about it getting out. And stuff."

"Nah, it's fine. I mean, I could lose my job. But I can always get another. It's not the biggest deal."

"Are you sure? Because, um, V knows about this too."

"I imagined," you chuckle again, and he actually leans toward you a little like he's trying to hear you better. You admit when you were younger you enforced your pokerface more because you were a brat and you desperately wanted to be the coolest motherfucker, but seriously is he going to react like that every time you break the mask.

You slow down so he feels safer before you lean towards him, too, and he almost flinches away. Instead he greets you with big blue eyes, staying put, like he's waiting for you to share a secret. You place your mouth by his ear, like you really are, and there's a pause before your brain short circuits between deciding if you want to place a kiss there, comically blow in his ear, or whisper something dirty. In the end you end up letting out another dumb fucking chuckle, burying your nose into the side of his face, and he laughs too, leaning into you. "Watch the road!" He insists, and you pull away to return to a decent driving speed.

"Dave Strider," he, uh, wow. You think that could be defined as a coo. You think he just cooed. "Are you actually a total dork? Is Dave Strider The Coolkid secretly a big dork?"

You want to wipe that shiteating grin right the fuck off his face. "No," you deadpan.

"What?" He leans towards you again, grinning like a fucking cheshire cat.

"No," you repeat.

"Really, I don't know about that! You seem to be having a lot of unironic _feelings_ and a lot of unironic laughing and it's very unstoic."

"Unstoic is so not a word," you mumble back, and wait for the commentary on you avoiding the topic at hand. It doesn't come.

"Oh my GOSH, Dave!!" You almost jump when you feel him touch you, but upon inspection it's just his shoulder as he leans back into the backseat. Which... is...

Oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh damn.

"Dave Stri--"

"No," you blurt, before composing yourself.

"--der," he completes.

"I don't know what you're talking about," you assure.

"Are," oh god he's got that mocking tone in his voice in only one word, you regret everything.

"No, they are not anything ever," you promise.

"These," he goes on.

"Nope."

"Flowers?"

"What are flowers even, I've never heard of that before," he's pulling the small bouquet out from the back seat, though. It's composed of a collection of flowers that you have no idea what they are. When you ordered it, you let the florist pick. But you made sure it was really blue. You're pretty sure he likes blue. Maybe.

"Dave," he's grinning again and you're about ready to just hit him with the goddamn bouquet.

"Shut up," you insist.

"You are--"

"Fuck you," you bite, and he frowns suddenly. You wonder if that was actually crossing the line.

"Would you shut the fuck up for a minute!" He huffs at you, and you lean away from him a little. "Jeez! You are just the sweetest ever, okay. But now I don't know if I really want to give you that compliment!"

"You probably shouldn't," you note, and he frowns deeper. You find yourself wondering if he's capable of neutral expressions.

"Well, too late, because it's all yours. I think you're really sweet and also a secret dork who's even a little sappy! And you know what? It's very charming!" He says it all like he's just totally burned you, and god you can actually imagine him unironically calling "buuuuuurn!"

You earnestly have no idea how to reply, though. So you just. Keep driving.

He almost drops the flowers and is suddenly fidgeting. "Oh. Gosh. Uh, were they even, um, for me? I guess I just jumped to that.... Jeez, sorry, um," he's mumbling, shifting to put them back.

"What the fuck," you move your arm in his way and push him back into a normal sitting position, "is wrong with you." He pouts at you, and fuck that's pretty cute. "Of course they were for you. Who the fuck would they even be for?"

"I don't know! Someone who... isn't me?"

"Ffffff," you try to compose yourself again, "it's for you, okay. I got it but then thought it was dumb and I threw it into the back hoping you'd never see it sometime around when I realized I would be arriving early and had to park in your neighbour's yard." He's fiddling with the flowers and smiling at them.

"I like it. A lot. A lot a lot. Blue is my favourite colour, did you know?" He grins at you again.

"I had a hunch," you mumbled, and his smile only grows.

"Dave?" He actually pauses, so you grunt a 'what' out in return, "you're swell," he chirps, and you can't. You just. You Can't. You have to turn to look at him. You have to ignore his pleas to look at the road.

"Swell?" You repeat, and he just gasps and points at the road. " _Swell_?"

"Dave, watch where you are driving!!" You jerk the wheel to the left and he lets out a shriek. "Oh my god, Dave!! Stop! Worst date ever! Are you trying to _kill_ us?!"

"This is it, Egbert, this is the whole date. I'm just going to drive around putting our lives in danger. You signed up for it. Irreversible contract. You're in it for the long haul."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I was gonna make today my own personal Dave/John day but I guess no one on tumblr decided to assist in the matter WOW RUDE  
> But I promised I would update this today so I am  
> No promises about next week though!!

You are John Egbert and thankfully, as it turns out, the whole date actually was not Dave driving around putting your lives in danger - although it was quite a bit of that. But no, in all seriousness, he actually took you out to a nice dinner at a, um, "real classy joint" and everything! As you suspected, he was very sweet about it all, even going so far as to not cuss while you were there (you could tell it was quite a task. You're trying to get over how uncomfortable it makes you feel about him having an influence on Casey.) He paid the bill in full, and you wonder if he'd been saving up or if he has more than just the babysitting salary. Regardless, you are very charmed by it all. More charmed, you think, than you think you really should allowed to be.

In short, shit is getting a little too real!!

This starts to really occur to you on the drive back, when you realize that you are not taking your road back home. "Where are we going?" You ask, expecting no less than the opposite of a useful answer.

"Egbert, you keep wanting to ruin all my surprises."

"Just checking you aren't, like, finding a place to dump the body or anything. I didn't think the date was _that_ bad," you tease.

"Not that bad? Gee, thanks," you can hear in his voice that he's rolling his eyes, or would be if he weren't driving (okay, you know he is, but you like to pretend).

You smile, "would you prefer I tell you it was the literal best? Best date ever on the whole planet, yup. I've taken every date ever had and considered it carefully. This one was the best."

"Actually, yes, that is kind of what I was looking for," he nods slightly. "I can take you home now, if you're so eager to get back. This isn't necessary. It's the opposite of necessary. It's silly."

"Dude, chill, I can go... where ever you're taking me! I was just asking where that might be."

"S'a surprise," he mumbles, and you sigh.

"Okay," you muse, and manage to stay quiet for a long time. You're a little uneasy when you find yourself in a troubling neighbourhood. It's not, like, the worst neighbourhood ever, and kids are carrying guns everywhere and their are corpses in the alleys. But it's bad enough that you usually avoid it, and especially since you've had Casey, you've avoided coming near the place. "Dave," you start anxiously.

"Don't.... I mean, I know. Just. Wait a sec," he sounds like all his confidence is drained out of him.

"I just, uh, I don't know. If I'm comfortable. With the place we are," you admit, and he nods a little, but doesn't answer. As promised, not moments later he's pulling in between an old, kind of run-down apartment complex and a coffee house that seems to be currently housing a band playing. As you step out of the car and try to get to Dave's side posthaste, you eye the place carefully. The music you can hear pouring from the windows isn't really your taste to a T, but you do actually like it, and you wonder if that's where you're going. You watch it as you walk by and turn with Dave towards the apartments.

It isn't until you're standing in front of apartment 18 while Dave is fishing keys out of his pocket and mumbling cusses into the dark hallway that it occurs to you that this is his house.

You feel kind of like a big jerk, and as the realization hits you you lean into him and tighten the arm you have looped with his. You can't be sure, but you think his fingers are trembling around all his keys, clearly too many for him to actually have things that go with all of them. You carefully shift your arm to trail your hand down to his and jeez, carefully, carefully intertwine your fingers with his. "Need help?" You snicker, and he smiles a little back, letting out a sigh as he turns his head to face you and rest his forehead against yours.

There's a long pause where he remains like this, before he finally let's out a soft, "fuck you, Egbert," and you laugh, a little too loud for the time of night and the silence of the hallway. You cover your mouth quickly, and he finally locates his key and lets you in. He does the gentlemanly thing and lets you in first, which just results in you tripping over... something, and comically falling to the ground pretty loudly. He has the nerve to shush you before he flicks on the light, then proceeds to smirk down at you.

"Remember those nice things I said about this date," you hiss, and his smirk turns into something more genuine before he carefully lays himself down on his stomach next to you.

"Better?" He offers, and you can't help but laugh again, instantly forgiving him.

"What did I even trip over? What is right in front of the door?"

He glances over his shoulder before answering in a deadpan, "dildo."

" _What_?!" You freak out, all but clawing away.

"Dude, chill, I'm kidding. Seriously, who even would do that, that's weird. Even for me. And you don't even know the guy who raised me. Seriously, I have more tact than that, I promise."

You eye him suspiciously.

"It's actually a Pokémon action figure."

"Dude, I totally believe you."

"It's Skeptile. Skeptile was the shit, man."

"Was?"

"Okay, is. Is the shit."

"I'm actually gonna get up off the floor now," you decide, and he follows suit.

"You're not, uh, hurt right?"

"Uh?"

"Shut up."

"I'm fine," you grin, "so hey, hm, sup?" He quirks an eyebrow and you realize how stupid you sound. "By which I mean to say. Um. So now we are here. Is this some Strider wooing ritual? Just saying, first date's a little early to take your date home, you know."

"Do you really have to complicate everything like that?" He frowns ever-so-slightly and you smile back. "Maybe this is some Strider wooage, alright?"

"So where's the part where you stop tripping me and grossing me out and instead start wooing me?"

He stares blankly at you for a really, really long time before he finally sighs, his entire body taking part in the action. "It's stupid, this is stupid, I don't want to anymore. I'm just gonna throw it in the backseat with the stupid flowers," he decides and you make a face at him.

"Seriously, the flowers were the best."

"Okay, whatever. I can't handle all this sap in one day. Let's just get drunk," he takes up a bottle of wine, and you sense it had to so with the original plan (you imagine Strider is more of a beer man, or even a ridiculous, ironic fruity drink man).

"Classy," you smirk as he pops the cork and takes a swig right from the bottle before offering it to you. You take it from him, taking a careful sip. You don't really drink, but you find yourself liking the taste quite a bit.

"So I was gonna do something shitty and pretty darn ironic," he starts, "like play shitty love songs on my admittedly pretty sweet sound system and dance with you in the livingroom. Actually, I even cleaned the living room," he pauses to take another swig of the wine, "which is why weird junk wound up elsewhere, like, for example, the doorway. But that's stupid."

"Dude, no, that's really sweet," you interject, taking another careful sip.

"I can't handle _that_ much sap in one day. It's not programmed into me. But I'll do something else, I promise. Besides get drunk," he says this as he retreats to the kitchen to retrieve one wine glass, and pours it for you before taking another drink from the bottle.

"Classy," you repeat, and he gives you a little smile, but you can see that the wine is already having a little affect on him (the way wine does) and the smile's a little shy, a little different.

"I'll watch one shitty movie with you. I'm warning you, though, just one."

"Have you ever seen City of Angels?"

He has not. While he's obtaining it via some illegal means, you turn a blind eye and instead call V from the kitchen. "Home yet?" She hums softly, and you imagine Casey is probably asleep by now.

"Actually, um, I was thinking maybe she could stay the night?" You can practically hear her raise her eyebrows in the silence. "Uh, Dave and I are gonna watch a movie. At his place. And he's kind of drinking wine like a fish. A fish that drinks wine. Wine fish."

"John, stop," she chuckles, and you take a breath. "Yeah, okay, she can totally stay. You just have fun, and no drunk or unlicensed driving. Just call when you're ready for her."

"You are literally the best, V," you start.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, John," she laughs.

"Thank you. Good night."

"'Night. Enjoy yourselves. Tell Strider he better act like a real gent. Or as much as one can whilst wasted."

"Will do!" You chirp before hanging up. You turn on heel and find yourself with a face full of Strider chest, jumping out of your skin. "Oh, jeez, Dave, whoa. You are. Silent for a drunkard."

"Egbert, I am hardly drunk," he assures. "Anyway, what was that?"

"That? Oh, uh, just calling V. I asked her if Casey could stay the night. Since I can't drive and I don't want you driving drunk!"

"Seriously, I have a pretty high alcohol tolerance."

"... Would you like me to call back and change my plans?"

"No," he answers, quicker than you think he meant to, and he rubs his neck. "Shut up," he mumbles before you can even formulate a way to make fun of him, "just come watch this shitty movie with me."

You don't argue, especially not against City of Angels, so you follow him back out to the living room and curl up on the couch with him. The couch is in surprisingly good quality compared to the apartment itself, and you are really wondering about his salary, but you don't want to talk about dumb things like that.

By the end of the movie you're in tears and Dave is in a deep, deep slumber, the bottle of wine empty with only a glass and a half on your behalf. You fumble for the remote and get the TV off before trying to lay him in a more comfortable position without waking him - easy enough considering his drunk slumber - and then curl up next to him, squished given the space options. He lets off heat like a damn radiator, and it's just the right temperature that it feels simply very nice and you don't mind at all. In fact, it helps you drift off into sleep after him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What even happens in this chapter  
> Shit okay this is probably the only update this week, unless I suddenly start writing like a demon  
> But I have Casey to look after so  
> Casey is a kitten  
> by the way  
> for those I haven't bugged relentlessly about it yet
> 
> But hey update!!

You are Dave Strider and you swear your bed is bigger than this. Your arm is flopped over the edge of whatever you are lying on, and you can feel carpet under your fingers. Your bed is also higher than this. You feel around more, and realize you are on the couch. And also you drank a lot of wine. That or there is a lot of wine in your carpet now. You usually don't drink wine, so something is up.

Egbert. Is what happened. Right. You remember that now. You were... very uncool. You vividly recall being very uncool.

You shift a little, trying to dig into your pocket for your phone to find out what time it is, but you're greeted with a soft mutter. Shit.

Shit.

Shit. So you guess Egbert is still here. And asleep. And this couch is by far not big enough for the both of you. While you wonder when you became the kind of guy who could fall asleep so easily, Egbert is nuzzling his way into your neck and oh jeez whoa wait hold the presses.

You finally retrieve your phone, and it's 9:24. Usually this would be way too early for you, but today you decide this is a great time for breakfast. You spend at least 10 minutes trying to carefully disengage yourself from Egbert's full body hug, which you kind of really wish you didn't have to do, and retreat to the kitchen to start cooking. Anything, really. Eggs, you guess. That's a breakfasty thing.

You're trying to see if you even have eggs when you hear Egbert's cell ring from the living room, and after 5 rings he picks it up and mumbles something into the phone. You give up on eggs to carefully peek around the corner of the kitchen to watch Egbert lean up with the phone pressed to his ear, stretch and yawn. "Sorry V. Yeah. I'll pick her up. Mm. Thanks," he's mumbling, rubbing his eye with a vengeance, before he hangs up the phone and glances around, probably looking for you. You straighten yourself out before striding out of the kitchen.

"Mornin'," you greet, and he turns to you looking all surprised you're there.

"Hey. Good morning. Uh, today was V's day to open up the shop, so she brought Casey with her. We gotta pick her up," he blinks hard, and you wonder if he can see anything without his glasses. "I mean, if that's. I mean I have to pick her up."

"I'm driving you," you answer, pacing over to find his glasses, which are next to the wine glass, and slip them onto his face. He blinks a few times like he forgot this is what the world could look like.

"Thanks," he gives you a sleepy smile, "um, did you eat?"

"Nah. There isn't really much to eat in the house."

"Mm, we can eat in town? After we pick up Casey?" He offers, and it sounds so fucking domestic, how could you even say no?

"Yeah, sure. Cool. Want some clothes?" You gesture to his white button down, disrupted by a stain of wine that you recall happening when he'd tried to laugh at the movie. He gives it a disgruntled look before nodding.

You retreat back to your room to gather some clothes that you both think will fit John and also you are no longer able to handle the uncontrollable urge to see him in. You swear that wasn't a thing you used to be into.

You're surprised to find him standing in your doorway when you turn around, giving you a bemused look. "You don't have to look so hard," he notes, and you shrug.

"Wanna make sure it'll fit you," you assure, and he pulls a face.

"Dave Strider are you calling me fat?"

"What even," you blink, actually startled by the accusation, and Egbert just plants his hands on his hips and gives you _a look_ over his glasses. "No. What? No, I mean. Um. What."

He grins at you, and you just scowl back, which only serves to make him grin a little wider. "Whatever, Strider! Give me those!" He snatches the clothes from your hands and finds the bathroom. You change in the middle of the room, with the door left open, because that's how cool (distracted) you are. He returns as you're fastening your belt, and he looks away awkwardly as if he's just caught you stark naked.

He somehow doesn't look like himself in your bright red tee shirt and ink black skinny-ish jeans. Not that he particularly looks like anyone else, either. This thought leaves your mind when his buck teeth start worrying his bottom lip as he glances back towards you, like he's making sure you're decent. You debate whipping your belt back off to see his reaction, but decide not to test it. "Ready?" He gives you this goofy little shy smile, and you take the briefest moment of pause to wonder when you began thinking that ever goddamn thing he did was so fucking cute.

You realize, with dismay, that that would be about half way through senior year, when for one day he happened to be making up a gym in your class, and you were ever-so-slightly charmed by how hard he tried to excel at football when it clearly just was not his game. You imagine he'd be better at it now, since he's lost his chub.

Wow, that long, huh?

Well then.

"Dude," he's waving his hand in front of your face now, "ready??"

"Yeah, sorry."

"Are you tired?" His eyebrows knit together with concern.

"No, I was just thinking about how you used to be chubby," you tilt your head and admire the bright red his face turns.

"Wow. Rude. Wow. Wow Dave. Just wow."

"Hey, I'm not calling you fat," you smirk, and his face flushes a shade redder.

"I don't even know what feelings to feel at you right now," he mumbles, and you stow your wallet in your pocket before pulling on a hoodie and approaching him.

"Ready?" You snicker, and he huffs in your face.

"I'm paying!"

"Egbert, you smell minty, did you use my toothbrush?"

"What wow no, that would be totally weird, who even does that?"

"Then why do you smell minty? Do I have mouthwash I don't know about? Are you popping mints behind my back? What's all this about?" You're grumbling at him as you slowly get more and more up in his grills and he tries to back away without actually stepping away.

"D-Dave, cut it out, maybe sometimes I smell minty, okay?"

"It just happens, sometimes your saliva turns into mint, just randomly?"

"Maybe!"

"Heads up, this is the part where I kiss you to shut you up," you warn, but his hands fly up to cover your mouth and push you away slightly as he stares wide-eyed like you just told him you were going to kill him slowly. "Or not. Not's cool too."

"N..." he slowly uncovers your mouth, "no, um, sorry, I just," he stutters out, and you try to shrug without looking put off.

"It's fine, man," you assure, but he grabs your face and holds you where you are, resting his forehead against yours, and for a second you're scared he might be able to see your freaky fucking eyes when he's so close, but actually his eyes are shut and he's just... standing there... waiting and... breathing and shit he smells nice and minty ugh.

"No, I mean, I, uhm, I did have a mint before. Because I was like gosh what if he kisses me and, man, I don't know, I'm weird okay? It's just... it's weird, I guess? Well, not weird. I know, um, before I did. We did. But that was like... I surprised myself. That was a surprise. More like, um, I guess it feels early? Too early for kissing?"

You wait a moment to make sure he's done before asking, kind of stupidly, "in the morning or in... this?"

"Pfff!" You can feel his breath, and smell it, and even kind of taste it. "This, duh. No Dave, sorry, no kissing before noon, not allowed."

"Right, sorry. No, I can respect that. Respect you. And shit. I just kind of suddenly decided... to, um, well... I don't know, I'm weird okay?"

He smiles at the quote and his blue eyes flutter open and stare so straight into yours that for a second you're sure he must be able to see them. "Thank you. I don't really know how to... relationship anymore," he tilts his head a bit to kiss your cheek, although he catches the corner of your lips. "Sorry I'm so weird."

"No, man, sorry I'm weird back. Wanna head out or?"

"Oh, yeah, V is waiting for us to pick up Casey! We shouldn't keep them waiting!" He teeters away from you and you wonder if you'll ever reach a stage when he stays close. You're pretty sure that's usually the feeling people get about you. When did you get so fucking clingy anyway?

You realize that that would be the day he brought Casey in.

Well then.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There Rii I hope your happy  
> You and your awful sadstuck  
> here's some  
> fucking happiness

You are John Egbert and Casey, Dave and you are at the local coffee shop where you frequently have breakfast. The barista, Catherine, greets you with a big smile before staring wide-eyed at Dave like he was a god that just descended to mortal soil. You start to wonder if he's actually a big deal. Or a bigger deal than the big deal you thought he was.

You order waffles and bacon, and Casey get her usual ginormous stack of pancakes with syrup and strawberries and whipped cream, that you let her have as long as she promises to eat all her vegetable for the rest of the day. Every single one! Dave literally asks for "something normal" and Catherine is so flustered by this she can't even say no. He's given eggs, sunny side up, with bacon and toast.

He's busy being completely fascinated by Casey's pancakes, and he looks up at you with his lips slightly parted like he can't find the words he wants to say.

"You could have gotten them too, but then you'd have to eat all your vegetables for the rest of the day," you assure, and he actually pulls a face and scrunches his nose a little. You can't help but laugh as he starts eating his food and Casey digs into her pancakes. You can still see Catherine watching the three of you carefully, like she isn't sure what to expect of you.

You eat your breakfast with more grace than your counterparts combined, and you are kind of amused to see how much differently Dave eats at this diner than he had at the restaurant last night. This just serves to remind you that last night you went out on a _date_ with Dave, like a total legit date, not even ironic or anything. At least you didn't think so.

You try to remember the last time you went on a date, and it's like grasping at straws. You seriously can't remember. You can't remember a single real date since... well, since _her_ , and with the realization you glance back up to Dave. He's finished his meal and he's cradling his head in his hand, with his elbow propped on the table, and you think he's watching you. You freeze, and you guess you look comical with a forkful of waffles hovering by your open mouth, and for a second his mouth twitches into something like a smile. You shove the waffles into your mouth and duck your head to keep from blushing, at least to his face.

Casey and you finish off your meals and, as promised, you pay the bill, and Catherine thanks you and gives Casey a little hug before you head back off, waving behind you.

"You just know everyone, huh?" Dave asks as you exit.

"Not everyone! You sure do know fewer people than I thought you would! You really are just some legend, huh?"

"Damn straight. One of these days all them kids are gonna grow up and be able to tell their families _my babysitter was Dave Strider. That's right. You heard me. The Dave Strider_ ," you're glaring at him, and you can see him mentally backtracking through his words to find where he went wrong. "Oh. Sorry."

You sigh, and Casey rolls her eyes at Dave.

"Point and case, yeah, I'm a legend. I'm practically Nick Allen."

"Who... who is that?" You squint at him, sifting through your vast knowledge of TV stars and legends.

"I have no fucking clue."

There's a long pause wherein, you aren't sure about Dave, but you're trying to unlock the mystery of Nick Allen. "That's a bad word!!" Casey interrupts, yanking on your sleeve to reprimand you for not pointing it out yourself.

"It is!!" You huff at Dave, and he grimaces a little in acknowledgement.

"Sorry," he mumbles unapologetically, but you let it slide. Sort of.

"You need to watch your mouth, dude," you warn, waving a finger in his face.

"Will I have to eat all my vegetables if I don't?" He teases, one eyebrow raised.

"Yes, actually, you will. And you will have to suffer and awful and really unironic time out!"

"I dunno, time out sounds pretty ironic to me," he amends.

"Oh, you say so now because you've never been there!" You warn, waggling a finger at him. "Casey, do _you_ think time out is cool and ironic?"

The frowniest frown that was ever frowned graces her little face, and she looks Dave dead in the eyes when she tells him that "time out is the total opposite of cool!"

"What does time out entail, I wonder?"

"You don't get to go see any of your friends! And you don't get any snacks, but breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and they're all boring an dinner is a lot of vegetables!! And Daddy gives you the silent treatment, too. He wont say a single word! Not even when you ask a question! It sucks," she huffs, and you pat her hair.

"Man kiddo, how many times have you gotten time out?"

"Just once!!"

"Then she learned her lesson," you give him a big smile, and he sort of smirks back.

"Man, I should avoid time out, then," he notes, before opening the passenger car door you you and gesturing in. You shift on your feet a little.

"I think Casey and I will just walk home from here. It's not too far, and we both had pretty big breakfasts!"

He slowly shuts the door, looking a little put off. "Yeah, cool. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes, yeah, um, totally!" You feel really bad now, even though you were actually trying to be nice. Oh man, you suck at this, you are the worst gentleman. Casey lets go of your hand and nudges your knee a little, and you awkwardly step forward and before you know it, Strider's got a snotty smirk spreading across his face. Jeez, this guy! "Ffff, urg, yeah, I'll see you tomorrow, bye!" You bounce up a little and partially collide with him to give him a super awkward hug that you're pretty sure he is simply too cool to return, so you don't actually feel offended when he doesn't return it.

"Yeah, tomorrow," he agrees quietly, nudging the top of your head with his nose a little, which you think is actually his way of returning the affectionate gesture. You pull away quickly, realizing how stupid and awkward you are, and you hear Casey sigh heavily before she takes you hand again.

When you finally manage to actually leave instead of stand around awkwardly feeling like you don't want to leave, Casey tugs your hand a little and huffs at you. "Jeez, Daddy!"

"Jeez whaty?" You huff right back, and she can't help but smile.

"That was silly!!"

"No, _you're_ silly!" You return, sweeping her up in one move and swinging her onto your shoulders as she giggles madly.

You then proceed to return home only to build an impressive pillow fort and discover that you are you guess keeping the kitten. You guess????

"Casey, why didn't you take her back to the shop?" You ask as Casey pulls the kitten into the fort and you set up the TV. You're going to watch romcoms. Casey said you need to brush up.

"V said I should keep her!! Her name is Jackii, we can keep her, right Daddy? Please??" She gives you a little quiver lip and big blue eyes and oh jeez how can you say no, she even named her and everything!!

"Jeez, yes, okay! But you have to take care of her! And she's the only pet!! It's enough working at the shop," you wag a finger at her and Jackii catches it in a leap.

You can't help but laugh before you pop in Crazy Stupid Love and get yourselves situated for the movie marathon that's about to take place.

It lasts until it's almost 8 o'clock and it's bed time for Casey and Jackii and you watch one last movie before falling asleep in the fort in pretty much the least comfortable position you've ever slept in in all your life.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just recommending a song each time I post a chapter?  
> Like the song doesn't even relate to the chapter or anything  
> I just think that everyone should listen to We Could Be Friends by Freelance Whales
> 
> Alternatively titles chapter: In Which Dave Legit Freaks The Fuck Out

Your name is Dave Strider and you are ready for shit to go down. Your knuckles are poised over the door, but it's taking every fiber of your being to bring it down into a knock.

You've been invited to the Egbert residence for dinner (well, you've been for a while, you guess, but you've finally taken up the offer) and you're kind of... excited? It's a different kind of feeling from when you took Egbert out, and even from when you brought him home, because it's more personal. Because you aren't just weaselling into his life, but Casey's too. It's terribly domestic, you think.

Awfully domestic, even.

You land three solid knocks on the door, and there's a great scrambling from within and a lot of hushed arguing. You wait with dwindling patience, and by the time the door swings open your mouth is already open for a sarcastic comment, but the man who greets you is not John Egbert.

The older man gives you a once over, toying with the pipe in his mouth. You stare wide-eyed with the comfort that he can't see your eyes. You can see his though, and they're the same bright blue that Egbert's are, a brighter shade than what Casey inherited, and his hair is the same ink black, though his his shorter and pressed down in a way that you assume he's been wearing a hat.

"Is... this the Egbert residence?" You ask carefully, inching back and ready to bolt because you know it is. A smile warms the mans face, and he turns over his shoulder.

"Why didn't you say you had company?"

"Oh my God, dad! I totally said I had company like a bajillion times, including when he knocked and I told you that that was my guest. Please, be respectful!"

"When am I anything less than a gentleman?" Dad Egbert teases, and Little But Not Littlest Egbert pouts at him (you dread you may have to start using names).

"Dad, you know what I mean! No dumb pranks, okay? Oh, jeez, okay, I'm gonna talk to Dave for a second, stay here and for the love of all that is holy, Dad, please, please, _please_ don't bake anything while I'm gone. I just need a second," he holds a finger up to his father in a 'wait' gesture and gives Casey a little look, before he slips out to the porch with you and shuts the door behind him, then leads you to the bottom of the stairs for good measure. "Oh my gosh, Dave, I'm really sorry. Dad kind of just _showed up_ this afternoon all like hey son sup I'm just gonna chill here for a few days you should really keep in better touch have you been eating well you lost a lot of weight would you like some cake let me tell you about all the cakes I learned about since I last saw you, blah, blah, blah," he gives a heavy sigh and plunks down on the last two steps, and you gently seat yourself beside him.

"Dude, it's totally fine. You can't help family, man. Shit just happens. I mean, I guess? My Bro used to do it for the first month after I left but... it was less like hey lil bro how are you doing are you eating well as it was like... actually he broke into my house in the middle of the night and moved my shit around and left his creepy shit places and once he took all of my food and shit and stuffed my fridge with shitty swords and left some note about upholding tradition. I actually had to drive down to Texas to get my fridge shelves back. But... the idea is the same. You can't help it."

Egbert is leaning into your shoulder and laughing by the time you're finished, and you scrunch up your nose. "Your brother sounds like a character!" He giggles, and you shake your head.

"If by which you mean a nutjob," you grant.

"Well, I mean, if you still want to stay for dinner, you can. But I understand if you'd rather just save it for another day. I can make something up for Dad. Anyway there might be... a lot of cake here," he shudders, and you instinctively wrap an arm around his shoulders. He wraps his arm around your waist in return and snuggles into you.

"Nah, it would be pretty rude to just up and leave. I might as well make some kind of good impression, I guess."

"Pff, just be yourself okay. Dad will like you, and even if he doesn't I don't want him liking someone you're just pretending to be. Just try not to cuss too much, which you know anyway, because Casey is here, too. Also don't feel forced to eat the cake."

"Fuck, cake is delicious, of course I'm having some cake." He gives you a look. "Just getting it out before I have to watch my mouth," you add.

"Okay. You ready?"

"Fuck. Fuckity shit damn," you answer, and he gives your shoulder a playful punch. "Yeah, ready," you chuckle, shifting to your feet and helping him up. He doesn't let go of your hand until you reach the door again, and still he only drops it once the door is open and he's passed the threshold.

" _Daaaaaaaaaaaaad_!" He whines as soon as he steps in, "oh my gosh you totally baked while I was gone!"

"Daddy, we're making cookies, and a cake, and a pie, and, um, jello!!"

"It's flan, dear," Dadbert (no, you amend, that sounds incomprehensibly stupid) corrects, ruffling her hair.

"Dad!" Egbert huffs, crossing his arms. "I was gone for a few minutes, how did you even get that much done?"

"I had help," he beams, and Casey jumps a little with excitement, like maybe you couldn't guess that she was the help.

"Right. Of course. Well, what's done is done, I guess. But we aren't eating them all at once! And only after dinner! And," he's explaining to Casey.

"I have to eat everything, I know, I will!" She rolls her eyes, before she's tugging Mr. Egbert (you'll settle for it) away. "Poppop, you gotta see what Dave got me, okay?" She's practically yelling as she pulls him down the hall, and you think he turns to give you a little smile as they vanish.

"Man, they can be such a handful!" Egbert laughs easily before you seize his arm.

"Oh my god, he knows."

"Wh-what?" He blinks at you hard.

"He totally knows. He just gave me a look. _A look_. Like an _I totally know_ look. I should leave now."

"What, Dave, whoa, what are you even talking about, chill out," he grabs both your arms before you can beeline right out of the house, into your car, this time actually parked in their driveway and no one's yard. "Dude, what?"

"He knows. I know he knows. Or he's figuring it out. I don't actually know how to handle him knowing, Egbert," you look him straight in the eyes, although you're not sure he can really tell.

"What? He doesn't know anything. You mean about us? How would he even know, Dave? You're totally just freaking out, and while I admit, it is kind of cute, it's also highly unjustified."

You stare at him for a long time, sorting out the segments of that sentence. "I probably should have mentioned this before, but I am actually the worst with parents. I grew up with just my brother, and he is a very poor example of parenting. Like, I'm not even sure why CPS wasn't all over our asses. My brother was not the kind of guy you introduced a date to, even if it was the opposite sex. I have little experience with, well, being, like," you wave your hands in vague circles for about 20 seconds before he takes pity on you.

"With being _the boyfriend_?"

"Look, in case it wasn't obvious, I'm not actually an expert at dating. At being _the boyfriend_ , yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've had _relationships_ , just not," you start, but he cuts you off by patting your chest.

"Yeah, actually, Dave, let's not talk about this?" He offers instead, and you can feel your face warming up, and he graces you with a little smile. "Dude, chill out. Even if he knows, or finds out, or whatever, he's not gonna freak out or hate you or anything. It's totally fine, I promise," he gives the hallway a little glance before he stands up a little to give you a few little Eskimo kisses, and you actually grimace at how cute it is. "Now seriously, I have to make dinner. Why don't you hang out with Dad and Casey?"

You give him a panicked look, but he ignores it to shoo you off down the hall, and you cram your hands in your pockets as you go in search of the room in which they reside. You assume said room is Casey's, judging by the pinkish purple walls and the trimming of princesses, which under normal circumstances you would find stupid, but they were reminiscent of Tangled and actually looked pretty cool for a little girl's room (also you will never admit to having seen Tangled. Multiple times).

She's got the shades on, and a tiara and a frilly princess dress, and her and Mr.Egbert are seated on her floor, talking adamantly as she waves her hands around until she spots you and jumps to her feet as her face lights up, if possible, even more. "Dave!!" She shrieks, running up to you and wrapping your legs in a hug.

"Oh, whoa, hey there kiddo. Been like, what, a whole few minutes? Missed you too."

She gives you a big smile and takes you by the hand to lead you into her room and show you things, including what you would sufficiently describe as a metric fuckton of plastic tiaras. "And then Poppop," she finishes, gesturing to the man still seated on the floor as if he were just another part of her room. You panic again.

"Oh, yeah, nice to meet you, Mr. Egbert," you extend your hand to him, feeling like a teenager again, "I'm Dave. Dave Strider," you introduce, and he shakes your hand with a warm smile.

"I know. I've heard a lot about you," he assures, and your eyes go wide behind your shades as you glance at Casey then the door. "Anyway, please feel free to call me Dad. It's practically my name."

"N--" the no gets stuck in your throat and he raises his eyebrows at you, still smiling. "Yeah. Okay. I guess. I mean if I. Can. Remember," you sputter out, and he laughs at you as you go red-faced and everything about this idea was bad, you realize with sinking hope.

"You don't have to force yourself, Dave," he assures, before giving you a teasing look, "I _can_ call you Dave, can't I?"

You stop yourself before you say anything you know you'll regret and nod awkwardly. It's only then that he sets your hand free and it falls like dead weight at your side. "Care to join us? I believe we were going to take part in a tea party with some fresh spring water," Dad (oh god oh no oh god oh no you can't do this) offers, and you stand in complete silence for a moment.

"M... maybe. I mean, I might be back in a few," you point over your shoulder, "I'm gonna go check on Egbert real quick. Make sure everything's running smoothly and he ain't oh god never mind," you're just mumbling by the time you slip out the door, and you pause in the hall to lean agaist a wall and breath. After some time has passed you hear Mr. Egbert burst out laughing in your wake, and you burrow a little into your hands.

You find Egbert in the kitchen, doing just fine. There are cookies on the counter, and a cake half-iced, and he's throwing some kind of... food in the oven. You realize that you don't know anything about food that isn't microwaved. You take up a cookie to eat while you wait for him to finish what he's doing. He jumps when he sees you, a hand on his heart and everything. "Jeez, Dave, you scared me! Stop eating that, you haven't had dinner yet," he goes for the cookie, but you pop the rest in your mouth before he can snatch it. "What are you doing out here - besides annoying me? I thought I told you to hang out with Dad and Casey."

"Can't," you answer, eyeing the cake.

"And why not?" He asks, tapping his foot. Your stomach clenches, and you feel a little dizzy.

"I think I'm gonna... bolt. Fuck good impressions, I'm just gonna," you start backing up, but he grabs your arms.

"Dave, what's wrong?"

"Ugh, I don't... he totally knows, and I can't call him Dad, that's weird, maybe not for him but for me, that's weird, how can I call him Dad, and have I mentioned how totally he knows lately, and I'm just annoying you out here, and eating confections I shouldn't be eating and messing literally everything up, mmph," you're cut off with a hand over your mouth, and sky blue eyes give you a soft look and a little smile. He drags you back into the kitchen before he removes his hand.

"Dave, you aren't messing anything up at all. Do you really think I'm mad that you for eating a cookie?"

"Well," you shrug, but he pats both of your shoulders back down.

"Of course I'm not, Dave. You aren't being annoying at all. And you haven't messed anything up."

"Egbert, no, you weren't there. I have literally never messed anything up as awfully as I just messed that up. That was bad. I think I stuttered a few times," he covers his mouth, and you refrain from the urge to smack him upside the head. "It's not funny, Egbert, this shit is serious."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I wont laugh. Look, like I said, everything is totally fine. You're just overreacting, and while I am kind of pleased to see you _reacting_ , I don't want you freaking out. And especially not leaving. You already promised you'd stay."

"Fuck you," you growl, leaning into his shoulder, and he just pats the back of your hair.

"Okay, just let it out," he laughs softly, and you turn your head to give his neck a little kiss, and you can't tell if the warmth is from you or him (or both) but he carefully wraps his arms around you and gives you a little hug, and you feel kind of better. You can make it through Dinner With The Egberts. Probably.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow that sure is an easier way to spell check I just discovered last second when it was too late to really use....
> 
> Sorry this chapter is so short!! The next chapter is longer, but I couldn't really fit anything else in this one, but it was needed to show a little of the John-Dad dynamic and stuff!!
> 
> I think it's kind of cute, personally....
> 
> Anyway, totally unrelated to the story music recs: I think evetyone shiould lisyern to  
> Casey stop no i cannou see  
> my keyboard through kittens  
> stop nO  
> I think everyone should listen to Two Open Arms by Jordaan Mason

Your name is John Egbert and you know that you told Dave that everything was fine and nothing at all could possibly go wrong, but now that you're sitting around the dinner table - 4 people making it the first time in years that the table had a complete set of people - you're starting to second guess your words of wisdom as well.

Alternatively titled: the moment you realized that there is a slight possibility that Dad totally knows.

So, okay, there's no way of really knowing if he knows or not, or if he just simply knows or if maybe Casey told him, which you don't think she did, but still. There was enough there to make you start to panic a little, too. Like how whenever Dave shifts a little too close to you or you to him, both entirely on accident since you're both hyper aware of Dad's presence, he would smirk a little, like he... well, like he totally knew. Whenever you passed anything to Dave, he watched you carefully, like he'd find some hidden clue in the movement, and you wondered if he did.

By the time Dave was leaving, you were in way too much of a tizzy to walk him to his car and sneak a good night kiss, like somehow Dad would find out, you're sure he would. So you just waved him off with an "I'll see you tomorrow when I drop off Casey," and leave it at that.

"So, he watches Casey when you go to work?" Dad asks after Casey is in bed, and you raise your eyebrows at him, a little surprised to find him seated so comfortably on the couch, watching TV.

"He works... he works at Casey's day care centre."

"Does he come over for dinner often?"

You sit yourself down next to him despite your total panic, to watch a rerun of Friends you won't admit to probably being able to recite by heart. "This was the first time. I used to go to school with him, so we've been hanging out a little. Catching up and stuff. And we get along so. What, I can't have a friend over for dinner?"

He smiles a little, almost sadly, and loosens his tie. "Of course you can. I'm not attacking you or anything. He seems like a nice boy, I'm glad you get along. He's a bit quiet though, isn't he?"

"Yeah," you laugh, without enough nerve to tell him that actually, no, Dave is pretty mouthy, he was just nervous.

"Does he know about Cassandra?"

You shift yourself, and you can feel the tension in the air growing into Dad retracting his question, but you answer before he can. "I think... I think he knows some things. Things about what happened. If I didn't tell him, Casey might have. He probably knows some things, yeah. But, um, he actually knew her. In high school. They knew each other, but he never knew we were... I mean, I don't want him to know it was her. It feels like that brings in unwanted awkwardness to the whole... thing."

"The thing," Dad repeats, that more playful smirk finding his lips again.

"The everything," you grant.

"I think he'll like you just the same if he knew."

"I know he would! He's a great guy, and a really good friend and everything. It's just... it's weird."

"Weird," he repeats again, his smile faltering a little.

"Not everyone I meet needs to know every single last detail of what happened, Dad," you roll your eyes, and he smiles again.

"Not everyone," it sounds less like he's repeating it this time as it does that he's agreeing or, even, correcting you, and it makes you feel all queasy and kind of like he totally knows.

"Not everyone," you repeat.

"Well, I like him. He's a character, for sure. Maybe next time, see if he'll lose the shades, though?" He's shifting to his feet as you make a weird face.

"What next time? Next time what??" You ask as he makes his way to the guest room.

"Next time," he repeats over his shoulder, and before you can figure out of that's the next time Dave meets Dad, or you see Dave, or Dave is over for dinner, or _what_ , Dad has already closed his door and you're left alone with the company of the dark house, the couch and some zaney comment from Febe that makes no sense at all.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at ME totally updating this week any everything like the savvy motherfucker I am
> 
> Next week I have a full day monday, and then half days the rest of the week (it's regents week, which is like final exam week for those not in new york or cali, so technically i should have no school, but I have to go to graphic arts wweh wweh)
> 
> so anyway I'll probably write some then
> 
> things to look forward to!!
> 
> Perhaps also one shots!!!!!  
> okay go read or whatever

You are Dave Strider, and Egbert is looking you in the eyes a lot more than usual. Well, you says eyes, but you mean shades, since you know he can't see your eyes through them. He could just be looking at his reflection, but he somehow seems too focused on you for that to be the case. Or maybe that's just your wishful thinking.

"How long is your dad sticking around?" You ask, trying to draw his attention away from the upper section of your face because it's starting to seriously unnerve you.

He smiles, but his eyes stay where they are. "He's leaving next Wednesday. Why? Got plans or something?" He snickers, and you give him a little smile.

"Can't get my flirt on with him stalking around, you know," you tease, and he laughs, which is very good. You think.

"Oh, whatever will you do without the ability to hit on me 24/7? But, um, I am sorry. That dinner happened like that. And I know I promised Hispanic food when you came over, but Dad can't eat spicy things," he frets.

"Dude, what, it's totally fine. He doesn't, uh, like, hate me or anything does he? Or I guess, at least he doesn't think I'm the biggest dick ever?"

He smiles again and rolls his eyes. "I said he wouldn't and he doesn't! He said you're quiet, though. I didn't know how to tell him that you're actually a big mouth loser, so I just let him think that."

"Thanks," you grant, and his smile grows a little. "That it? Just that I'm quiet?"

"Well... yeah, basically."

"Basically," you repeat, and he shrugs.

"Kinda."

"Kinda," you nod.

"Look, I have to get to work. We'll discuss it more when I come to pick Casey up, okay?"

"I won't let you forget," you warn.

"I know you won't," he laughs quietly, a little nervously, like that's what he was afraid of, before he waves and trots off and almost runs into an incoming mother with her son (Devon), apologizing quickly, and running off down the street.

Later, when you have the time and opportunity, you ask Casey if she told her grandfather anything about you and her dad, and she promises, crosses her heart even, that she absolutely didn't. You assure you believe her, you were just checking, and for her to not mention it in the future unless you are her dad say that it's okay. You pinky swear on it.

You're surprised when there are still 5 kids left, suddenly Mr. Egbert comes in, the little bell giving you warning. He's wearing an easy smile and greets you with an easy wave, and you return both with literally as much unease as your body can muster out of itself. "I almost didn't even believe it," he admits, walking up to your counter.

"Uh," is all you get out.

"That you worked as a babysitter. You don't strike me as the type, is all," he adds, and you nod a little. "I thought I'd come pick up Casey, so she isn't the last to be picked up, and so John doesn't have to go out of his way to do it. Anyway, I've been thinking, until I leave she can probably stay home with me," he offers.

"Yeah. That makes sense," you allow, and some small, stupid part of you is greatly offended and almost jealous.

"You should come over sometime, though. I'm sure Casey will miss you if you don't. She really is taken with you. John, as well. You're quite charismatic, aren't you?" He chuckles a little, and you can only manage a nod again. "Right. Well, I'll go get Casey, and we'll be off."

You watch in shock as he walks passed you to find Casey, and she in turn comes running back to you and hugs your legs like if she doesn't you're going to float away. "Whoa kiddo, what's all this?"

"Will you come over?" She blurts, much louder than need be.

"What? Oh, yeah, sometime over the week. I'll be seeing you, kiddo. It's only a week and a half."

"No, now! Come home! Daddy will be really surprised, too!"

"What, no," you deadpan, but backtrack when Mr. Egbert gives you a curious look at your wording. "I have to stay here and work," you add.

"Why? They can take care of themselves until they get picked up!" She huffs.

"Casey, no... I mean, it's fine. I'll come visit later this week or something, I promise."

She doesn't look convinced, but she settles for it and finishes up her hug before Mr. Egbert picks her up and lets her climb onto his shoulder like she does with Egbert. You wave to them until you can safely go back to freaking out.

You get a call on your cell a few minutes after the last kid is picked up, and you answer with a little too much haste. "I heard Dad picked Casey up?"

"Yeah," you croak, and you hear him laugh on the other end of the line.

"He didn't even tell me. V was out picking something up and ran into them. I guess he told her to not even tell me?"

"He said he was doing it so you could, like, get home sooner. Or something. Like so you wouldn't have to go out of your way. And that he thinks Casey should stay home with him while he's here," you explain, and there's a long pause.

"Why didn't he want me to know?"

"I don't want to know," you admit, and he laughs again.

"Can I stop by anyway? We should talk, I guess...."

"I don't know, you're dad's expecting you," you mumble.

"I'll tell him I'm going out somewhere with V," in the background, you can hear the woman in question raise protest to this idea, but it's half-hearted at best.

"I guess that's okay. We can go... somewhere... or something... yeah," you agree in the most awkward way humanly imaginable.

"Okay. Stay there, I'll see you in a few minutes," and he hangs up.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> irrelevant music recs: I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing by Pomplamoose (Aerosmith cover)

You are John Egbert, and after about three seconds of protest, V let you use her as an excuse when you called home. Dad didn't actually sound much like he believed you, but you pretend that that isn't even a thing that might be the case, no siree, Dad totally bought it.

Dave is still waiting at the day care centre, or just outside of it, since it closed. He invites you into his car and asks where you'd like to go. You give him directions to a restaurant, and he snorts a little.

"What?" You huff.

"What what?" He counters.

"What was that? That snort? Do you not like the place?"

"No, no, the place is great, a little homey, but just fine. It's your funeral."

You stare at him the entire way there, at least hoping he felt a little uncomfortable. It was the least you could do for the ominous warning. When you arrive, Dave enters the place like he really is expecting someone to die. The bell above the door jingles with your arrival, and you take a seat near the window, waiting for Dave. He's almost made it to the seat when the waitress is bustling up to him like he's punched her in the face, and you take a second to consider the possibility.

"David Strider," she jabs at his chest, and he holds up his hands like he's been caught. "Where have you been?"

"Can we start off with the fact that you know my name isn't David?" He gives her a little smile, and she waves her hand in his face before she gives him a big, toothy grin.

"How am I supposed to know. It's been so long, you're practically a stranger! This your date for the evening? He smells like cake, where'd you pick him up, a bakery?"

You sniff at your clothes but Dave rests his hand on yours to stop you. "Don't bother, she's a freak. Anyway, we have important matters to discuss, if you don't mind, Terezi?"

She turns her eyes towards you, and for the first time you notice she's blind (it's hard to tell behind the ridiculous '80s shades she's wearing). "Right, okay, cool. I didn't want to catch up or anything. It isn't like we're friends, Strider. Just total strangers, ri--"

"Oh for fucks sake, I will swing by tomorrow and we can talk or... smell or whatever the fuck you want," Dave starts.

"Taste?" The waitress interjects with a wicked smile, and you can feel yourself flinch.

"Terezi," Dave warns, and she literally cackles, patting Dave's cheek like he's her son.

"Okay, alright, you chat, I'll be back for your orders," she waves, and you're uncomfortable with the flirtatious edge in it, and now your stomach is all in knots.

"She seems, um, nice," you muse as he takes his seat across from you. "Is she your... uh," you fidget, and you can see one of his eyebrows raise.

"An old friend," he answers, and looks like he's thinking back to something before he _smirks_.

"You seem close," you croak, and he looks at you like he can see right through you, and shit he probably can, you're pretty damn obvious. His smirk grows a little.

"Wanna know a secret?" He teases, and you make a face at him, to which he lets slip a little laugh. "Back in high school, once she tried to get me to ask you out."

"What?" You blurt, loud enough that a few other customers give you weary looks, and you duck your head.

"I don't remember it that well. She tried to get me to ask out almost everyone. But it was to some dance, I forget, and she'd overheard you talking about how you wanted to go, but you couldn't because you didn't have a date and shit, so she told me to ask you. I obviously didn't." You open your mouth and almost ask why, but it occurs to you that you don't want to know. He seems to see it anyway, though. "I never asked anyone out then, keep in mind."

"Right, high school," you nod.

"And you would have said no," he reminds.

"Well... high school," you repeat, and he smiles again.

"Alright, so about your dad?"

You fidget more. "What about my dad, again?" He gives you A Look, at least you think so, not that you can see anything but yourself in his shades. "I think... _think_ , mind you, I have nothing like solid proof, but I think there is the slightest possibility that perhaps, just maybe," you wave your hand in a vague circle.

"He totally knows," Dave finishes, and you shrug.

"Maybe."

"Fuck," he rests his head down on the table. "I talked to Casey about it. She said she didn't mention it, and I told her not to unless one of us said it was okay."

"Well... I don't know. Do you think maybe it's... obvious?"

"Egbert I am anything but obvious," he bites back.

"Dude, you are so obvious," you laugh, "you were gonna, like, faint you were freaking out so bad!"

"Striders do not faint," he grits out, and you just smile. "Okay, what did he say, exactly?"

"Uh... I don't know. He just sort of... heavily implied that you were more than a friend and... he asked about... stuff... and said next time you should lose the shades."

"Next time what?"

"I asked, he didn't answer, I still don't know," you admit, watching him carefully. He reaches up like he just might take his shades off, and your heart practically jumps to your throat, but instead he pushes them up the bridge of his nose a little further.

"Well, regardless, that ain't happening. These things are pretty much cemented here. They are practically a part of me."

"Right, yeah... I mean, it's not like you have to do what Dad says or anything. He was being strangely cryptic anyway, he doesn't even deserve it!"

"Right," he agrees.

"Yup," you nod.

"Mm-hm."

"So...."

"So...?"

"What'll you have?" Terezi appears, as if out of no where, leaning in close to you and inhaling, and you find yourself wondering again how much you smell like cake.

You scramble to look through the menu, and Dave chuckles under his breath. "How about two paninis?" He offers, and you nod, before thinking that, shit, she can't see that.

"Yes!!" You blurt, way too loud, but she just gives Dave a toothy smile.

"Ordering for him and everything? Cute. To drink?"

You order an iced tea and Dave gets a Coke, and Terezi lingers behind to stare straight at you with unseeing eyes for a few seconds before she bustles off again. "So what do you want to do?" He asks after she's left.

"Eat?"

"About your dad?"

"I know," you admit, leaning forward. "I don't know. It's hard, you know? I know that he may already know, but I don't know how to... tell him... say it? I don't want to feel like he's trying to... treat you differently? And I don't know how he'll feel about Casey being in the midst of it, and then I think that what if we..." you look up at him again, not wanting to say the words _break up_ , like if you do you're jinxing yourself. Thinking about it logically, you haven't been dating very long at all, and you only had one relationship before, and you never even _thought_ about dating a guy before, so you should still have your head about you. You should be able to see to the point that you may break up, as people often do. But you just... don't want to think about that. You like Dave, you like Dave a lot, and you want to... be with him! You'd like to stay together, and you'd like for him to get along with Casey, and give her what her mother never did - give her love, give her a second parent - and you want him to give you something, too.

Give you love?

Would it be weird to think that you'd like him to move in with you someday? You want his shitty Cadillac parked in your driveway all the time, you want your room to be his room, you want to maybe switch off between who has to wake up at ungodly hours with Casey?

Not weirder than your earlier implication that you want him to mother your child, you guess.

"What if we...?" Dave urges.

"... Get married?"

"Catch me, I'm swooning," he snickers, and you smile back because, well, it is kind of a joke, in a way.

"I don't know. I think Dad might be... okay with it? A little weird, but no weirder than he would be if you were a girl. Just that weirdness that comes about from a single parent dating again, you know? Actually I could almost see him being happy about it?" You ponder this a moment. "It's... still weird," you admit.

"Hey, how about if you tell your dad, I'll give Bro a ring and tell him? Believe me, mine will be 100 times more awkward and awful."

"You don't have to do that!!"

"Nah, once in a while I ought to call the guy and tell him what's going on in my life, right? It's been over a year since either of us bothered, and that was when he called me and made me pick him up in California, where he had managed to get lost," he shrugged before Terezi returned with your food and drinks, once again staring at you.

"John Egbert?" She inquires, and you sputter. "I knew you smelled and sounded familiar! You went to our school, right? Then you knocked up some broad or something?"

"Okay, thank you Terezi, nice seeing you," Dave cut her off, shoving her away and she pranced off like a great weight had been lifted from her mind. "Sorry she's like that. It grows on you. In a weird way."

"It's fine. You kind of get used to it."

"... Hey... can I ask you something personal? Well, about that?" He askes carefully, and you give him a big smile.

"I'll tell you if you take off your shades!"

"Cheap," he snickers back, and you both take part in your food and indulge in your own thoughts.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
> Happy Valentine's Day!!!!  
> Okay so I know this is SUPER overdue and on top of that it's REALLY SHORT LIKE WOW but for some reason I found this really hard to write, and the flow didn't really feel good for me until more towards the end, and I'm not very content with it, but I decided to just stick with it, since I don't think I'll get anything better, and I think the next chapter will be easier for me to write.
> 
> So anyway, sorry and stuff!

Your name is Dave Strider, not David, you would like to note. Your full name is, in fact, Dave, let there be no confusion on the matter. By the time you leave, Terezi watching you all the way, John and you have actually not agreed upon anything at all, but you don't even realize. Despite the fact that your car is parked at the restaurant, you walk back to John's place with him to drop him off, at that point basically just talking bullshit (about movies) (about awful movies).

You arrive at his abode, and his father answers the door with a knowing look already on his face, which is basically the most unnerving thing that could possibly happen to you or really anyone, you're pretty sure. He barely has a "hello, Dave," out before Casey is bounding to the door as though she has sensed your presence, and in no time she's trying to crawl up onto your shoulders.

"Wow, been like almost a few hours, you sure did miss me, huh?" You tease as she situates herself.

"You hafta stay!" She orders, giving your head a little pap.

"Casey, don't be rude," John chides, reaching up to take her, but she's got you into a strangle hold.

"No!!" She huffs back, clearly dead-set on it, and you wave John off.

"It's fine. I mean I'm already here, it would be rude to Casey if I left. My car is just at the diner, so I can stick around for a while."

Dad Egbert raises his eyebrows, and it occurs to you MUCH too late that he totally thought John was out with that girl from the shop and oh SHIT you have literally blown all the covers, you have no remaining covers to hide behind, you are an idiot, you hate yourself.

"Dad, I'm dating Dave!!"

You think that you literally sputter, which is much more of a reaction than his father gives, which seems criminal. "Alright, are any of you going to come in, or would you just like to stay out on the porch?"

There is about 3 minutes of intense silence before John finally shuffles into the house, and you follow him, ducking so Casey doesn't hit the door frame. You aren't sure if that was how that was supposed to go down, or what the normal for this occasion was, or if maybe he was just leading you out of the public eye to give you a stern talking to about sin and buttsex or whatever.

He actually doesn't say anything. He just sort of gestures to the table, where there is a covered cake sitting, with four plates set around it, and you can only assume that he totally saw this coming and he's clearly psychic, there is really no other explanation for the things that are happening.

In the end you just sort of stay, eat some cake, play board games with The Egberts (you let them win every time, you figure that that's gentlemanly) and have dinner with them. This all seems to pass like it is very normal, and even a little like Mr. Egbert has been waiting for the day he could spend with his son's boyfriend.

This unnerves you.

This unnerves you a lot.

Mr. Egbert gives you a firm goodbye handshake, and you try not to stutter when you say good night. Casey begs you to stay the night, and you decline, but Mr. Egbert consoles her with a "perhaps next time" which makes you _freak out even more_.

Egbert walks you back to your car, even though that is totally ridiculous, so you insist on driving him back to his house. He spends almost the entire time apologizing non-stop, until you get back to his place and he leans across the seat and pulls your face into his, pinching your lip with his teeth (again) but you think it's kind of really perfect anyway.

You're like 99.98% sure it is.

Especially since you can actually call this one a kiss, and you're the one who has to break it so you can breathe. His eyes are wide and bright when you find him from behind your shades, and his lips are just slightly quirked up, so you guess at least he isn't grinning.

"Sorry. I'll see you tomorrow!!"

"No prob," you murmur in time to him slamming the car door shut behind him. You watch him run up his porch, and he pauses at the door to turn and wave, even though you know he can't see your through the tinted windows, and you wave back, like a fucking idiot, before you drive away and let the events of the day sink in over time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also a kiss, a gift for Jackii


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is secretly dedicated to Pirate shhhshhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
> She made a post about how nothing was updating and Playing House was tagged in it so I ran to finish this chapter up and post it heh

You are John Egbert and WOW you can't even say that with any confidence right now.

Are you sure that you are John Egbert?

Not in the slightest!

Dad smirks at you from the couch where he is, once again, comfortably seated, and you use context clues to guess that he put Casey to bed while you were out. And about. And what-not.

"Wow shut up," you order, and you're father graces you with a low chuckle, which he politely uses his hand to partially cover. "That's like the total opposite of shutting up that you're doing," you warn.

He gently pats the space next to him, offering it to you without a word, and you decide to sit down. Tonight _How I Met Your Mother_ is on, and you've entered in time for a good old Neil Patrick Harris high-five. The two of you sit in total silence for ten minutes, and when the commercial break ends you slowly lean your side into Dad's, and he calmly wraps his arm around your shoulders like you're still a little kid, and you think this was exactly what happened when you first told Dad that you had a crush on Cassandra.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," you add carefully.

"It's fine, it was obvious."

"Thanks, Dad."

"Well, I'm not going to lie to you," he laughed again, half at the TV.

"We so weren't even obvious. Okay Dave was pretty obvious, but you'd never met him before, so you didn't have anything to go by there!!"

"Oh please, I could tell when you called me last week."

" _What_??? Dad, you are so lying. There's no way."

"Are you sure?"

"Dad, I am not doing this again."

"Again?"

"Before? With the shades?"

"How was that this?"

"What is the next time?!" He shushes you, and Jackii hops up onto your lap to get herself situated. "Next time what?" You ask, quieter.

"Did you tell him that?"

"Yes, and he didn't know what next time, either."

"Well, he didn't take them off today, did he. There isn't really any next time I could have meant that today did not fall under the jurisdiction of."

"Dad," you roll your eyes, and he mimics it back at you.

"I'm just saying, it is awful rude of him."

You fidget, watching your fingers like they suddenly captivate you. "Dad... uh, I mean... do you... well, like, is it... do you," you stop, realizing that you're just making a fool of yourself. "Never mind."

"Am I okay with it? Of course I am. John, you know that I just want you to be happy. You could want to date the kitchen china, and I might give you a bit of a strange look, but I would be happy as long as you were. John, there is nothing wrong with liking someone of the same sex."

You totally do not almost cry.

Not even sort of.

"But do you..." you wave your hand, then give up again, letting it drop to pet Jackii.

"Like Dave?" He gives you a warm smile, that Dad smile, and you don't think you will ever be the perfect dad, since you don't think you'll ever master that all-knowing smile.

"Like Dave," you repeat, staring at your hands.

"He isn't as quiet as he was at first. He sucks at board games though, and he's sort of a sore loser. But he is a nice boy. Maybe he tries a little to hard to seem cool, but I can tell that he's nice. And he sure does like you."

"Wow shut up."

"John, I'll always be your father, but my opinion shouldn't be held higher than anyone else's, and especially not your own. If you like him, you don't need to care if I like him or not. And you do like him, right?"

"Yeah," you mumble as Jackii starts purring into your hand. "Kind of lot. Even if he does totally suck at board games."

"He really does," Dad sighed, like this was the thing to be stuck on.

"I've heard rumours he's good at chess?"

"It isn't the same. Eventually he'll get used to it. He has to, after all, Casey loves board games."

You don't mention that Dave is a big fan of video games, and you definitely don't mention the horde of video games that you keep in your closet. You're trying to keep Casey out of them until she's a little older, for now. You don't mention that Dave's living room, under normal circumstances, is usually a tangle of wires from gaming consols, and he plays anything from gore games to puzzle games. You don't mention that he actually keeps a crossword on his night stand, and judging from the glances you've had of it, he only does it at night, when it's almost too dark to see what he's doing, and you imagine he maybe can't sleep, and you don't like to wonder why. You don't mention that of the five lamps in his house, only two have functioning light bulbs. You don't mention his colourful language, his lack of cooking skills and nutritional knowledge. You don't mention that you remember him in glances from high school, you remember he was in a gym class that you made up once, and you remember he was tall even then, but thinner, a little awkward, and his Texas accent had been thicker then, and his sunglasses looked a little bigger on his face, although he'd always been all angles and sharp turns like he is now, and that day you made up gym, you found yourself admiring his freckles and shock of messy red hair that had been less tameable then, and how sort of refreshing he was, and once you thought you caught him giving you a smirk, which you had just chalked up to you being a total geek and you'd been wearing a Space Invaders shirt that day.

Or that you think you want to live with him.

Or for him to be a parent to Casey.

You don't mention how totally in love you think you might be with Dave, and not that kiddish I sort of have a crush, and he's super cute, oh man, I can't believe I asked him out kind of _like_ , but the horrible, gut-clenching, you try to sneak careful but quick glances at his living quarters and you imagine what it would be like to live with him, and you want to fall asleep with him every night, and he's super sweet, oh man, I want him to mother my child kind of _love_.

You think mentioning this would take too much time, so you just go to bed and let Jackii sleep in your bed for the night, even though you bought her a perfectly fine cat bed.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regular, totally on time update for everyone!!  
> And it's a normal length chapter!!!
> 
> and my unrelated music suggestion is Chain of Prospit by Michael Guy Bowman from the Homestuck CD Mobius Trip and Hadron Kaleido which is a really great CD and I really like Bowman okay!!!!

You are Dave Strider and you almost swerve off the road, like, three times on your way home. Your head is so incredibly abuzz, and you're worried it might even be visible on your face, so you rush up to your apartment, only getting one neighbour to poke their heads out of their room to give you a sharp word about slamming doors. You apologize quickly before slipping into your house, almost tripping over a playstation wire that runs through from your room to the living room via an extension.

Okay, so maybe you're overreacting.

You look at your clock, which tells you it's 10:32, but you know it's ten minutes fast. You decide now is a good time for junk food and some ridiculously over-the-top action movies, and you indulge yourself until it's 2:15 (2:05) AM, and you finally pick up your phone.

It takes two rings before your brother answers, and you can hear in the back that's he's currently at a bar.

"What's broken," he asks first.

"Nothing," you mutter, finding the weirdest solace in his thick Southern accent. It sounds like home, you think lamely.

"Who's dead," he asks next.

"Bro," you make sure he can hear in your voice that you're rolling your eyes.

"Who're ya in love with?"

The question hangs in the air until he sighs, and without telling you to hold on, you recognize the sounds of him weaselling his way out of the bar until he's outside and you can hear the angry noises of cicadas. "Alright," he finally says.

"It isn't a big deal or anything," you assure.

"Yer callin' me at 2 in the mornin'."

"I know for a fact that it's impossible to get a hold of you before 1."

"Allow me ta repeat that with more emphasis: yer callin' _me_ at 2 in the mornin'."

"Okay I see where you're going with this," you admit.

"......Sssso, do ya wanna talk about it, or do ya just find that keepin' me on the phone, knowin' I'm there, comforts ya? Because seriously, yer pullin' me away from hookers, can we do this when I'm hungover tomorrow?"

"Yeah," you allow, and almost hang up when you hear him bark a "STOP," and you draw the phone quickly back to your ear.

"Not yeah," he growls, "kid, yer love life is the last thin' I want ta deal with when I'm hungover. Just spit the words out that ya want ta say so we can get this over with."

"I said it's nothing," you mumble.

"Except fer the way that it's somethin'. Okay, here, what's his name?"

"John Egbert," you answer without thinking through whether you wanted to answer or not.

As your brother snorts, it occurs to you that you chose the wrong option. "Egbert? Seriously? Wait, didn't he go ta high school with ya?"

" _How_ do you even know that?"

"He lived, like, a block away."

"He _what_?"You search your memory, trying to find out if you knew that. You definitely didn't. You know so. Because no matter how cool you thought you were, or how nerdy he clearly was, there was no way that you wouldn't have tried to get to know him if he lived that close.

"Yeah, when we moved up there, his dad invited us fer dinner. I remember hearin' Mr. Egbert and it was all I could do not ta laugh in his face. Nice guy an' all, but they were pretty lame, an' who even invites new neighbours over fer dinner, anyway? So I said no."

"That's actually kind of rude," you acknowledge.

"Ya didn't want ta go meetin' anyone, anyway. Ya were freaked right the hell out from the move an' shit."

"That's actually kind of true," you recall.

"So that nerd, huh? He still... y'know, all nerdy? Or did he grow up ta be a strappin' young lad?"

You don't want to say he isn't a strapping young lad (his fashion taste is still questionable, his slightly buck teeth will probably never stop existing, and seriously, Egbert, those glasses are not coming back into style, but he definitely filled out, and you imagine that if you stripped him down and took away the variables, strapping young lad he was).

"Hello?" Bro calls from the phone.

"What? Oh, right, strapping. I mean nerd. Yeah, still a nerd."

"Right.... So how'd ya meet 'im again?"

"I... need you to... keep an open mind. Like, seriously, don't say anything I'm gonna have to fly down there and sock you for."

"Consider my mind open. So open, in fact, there are not even doors. There aren't even walls. I am literally outside. In the open."

"Okay, so i got this day care gig, right?"

"Very ironic," he acknowledges, and you can hear that he thinks this is the part you were worried about.

"And I babysit. Y'know, kids."

"S'what babysitters do."

"And I happen to babysit... his kid."

"Right, right," there's a heavy pause where he expects you to go on, but you don't. "Wait, what?"

"Don't say anything I'll--"

"His KID? Egbert? Egbert kid? A little Egbert? A new edition?"

"Bro," you warn again.

"No, okay, my mind is still very open," you heave him heave as he rests against something, like the revelation has him dizzy. "What's their name?" He asks, to your surprise.

"Casey," you answer, "a girl. She's a good kid. I mean, like, you know a kid is good when a Strider says they're good."

"Yeah. Yeah, that's... somethin'. Fer sure."

"Bro," you sigh again.

"No, no, just... yer serious? I mean, not like, are ya lyin' to me. I mean, yer serious about this, right? Believe me, you don't go around wooin' the married fer shits an' giggles."

"Ma," you sputter for a second, "married? Fuck, Bro, he isn't _married_!"

"Oh, thank god," he gasps in earnest.

"Fuck, what kind of guy do you think I am?"

"Dude, love happens."

"Shut up. Wow, just shut up. No he isn't married. From what I gather he's never been married."

"Wow, Egbert actually _knocked up_ a gal? This is cause for applause," he gets in one clap edgewise.

"That's exactly what I meant by keep an open mind and don't make me beat you."

"Right. Sorry. Sure there was good reason for it an' all. So he's just got the kid, then? No dame?"

"There are no dames involved," you assure. "Well, there's a kind of goth assistant, but she isn't really involved. I think she's just here so the crew isn't too male."

"Right. So. I mean, I guess the question stands. If yer serious? 'Cause ya still shouldn't go wooing dudes with kids fer shits, either, y'know? Like, think o' the kid."

"I'm... serious."

"I don't want to delve inta it too deep here. I don't want ta talk about that anxious pause, I don't want ta discuss the pros an' cons, why ya think yer serious, all yer feelin's, no list o' thin's ya like about him, shit like that. I'm gonna leave it at thanks fer tellin' me, I'll stop by sometime since it has been ages, I wont take yer shelves, if ya want I'll meet The Egberts," you grunt at that, and he grunts back, "an' now I'm gonna head back to the booze an' strippers. G'night, lil' bro."

"'Night," you return, and proceed to collapse immediately afterwards.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this instead of an essay so here you go!!
> 
> Random song rec: He's Not A Boy by The Like

You are John Egbert, and time seems to just fly by!! The air is already starting to get a chill to it, and in what seems like no time at all, Casey is starting 2nd grade, and she wont let you or Dave forget it! Dave comes over the morning of her first day, and he's wearing way too many layers for the ever-so-slight chill of the September air, and he stands with you and her at her bus stop, and she gives him a longer hug than yours (wow, rude!!)

"S'gonna be weird," he admits as the two of you watch her bus pull out of view, "not seeing her every day, I mean."

You smile a little, almost telling him he still could, but it sounds too forward in your head, so you bite your tongue. He gives you a look like he can see right through you, but he shrugs and turns to face you. "Gonna invite me in, or?"

"Dave," you give him a look and a little smirk, "I have work," you remind. He frowns a little, and you think he earnestly forgot about this. "You can hang out around the shop for a while, if you want. I'm sure V won't mind, and there's totally this potty-mouthed parrot I think you'll get along with," you give him a big grin, and he graces you with a snort.

"Yeah, I think I will."

"Why don't you have work, by the way?" You ask as he guides you into his car.

"Oh, y'know, business gets slower around this time of year, so they don't need so many people working. I'm trying to find a better gig, so I can drop it all together."

" _Better_? I thought you were totally set on the irony thing," you tease.

"Well, y'know," he shrugs as you pull out of the driveway, and you stare at him for a while before you figure he isn't going to go on.

"I don't. Why do you need a better job? Are you running out of money? Are you in trouble?"

"Jesus, Egbert, take a fucking pill. I'm fine with money, my apartment hardly costs fucking anything, I just want to... I don't know, get some reserve, or something."

You give him a funny look.

"Can't a guy think about his future?"

"Are you gonna move?" You ask, surprised by the notion for some weird and totally not related to you wanting Dave all up in your household reason.

"No, not... really."

"Not _really_?"

"Why is this such a big deal? Oh no, Dave wants to save money, whatever will we do with ourselves?"

"It isn't a big deal. I was just wondering. Like, why you would move now, and stuff."

"Okay, I just said I wasn't moving," he starts.

"You said not REALLY," you correct.

"AND anyway, even if I was, I want you to think of my apartment and give me five reasons that moving would be a bad idea," he dares, and you close your mouth and pout at him.

"So you _are_ moving," you huff as you get out of the car and start heading into the shop. "Where to?"

"Egbert, Jesus Christ, I said I wasn't moving."

"You're moving? Why? Where?" Victoria asks, looking perplexed.

"Okay, it's no ones business, but I am not moving," he repeats.

"He said he isn't _really_ moving," you tell her.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Right?" You huff.

"Well, if you want to move anyway," she adds, hopping up to sit on the counter, "why don't you just move in with John?"

The two of your give her a good, long stare, that she returns tenfold, a smile on her red lips.

"So where the fuck is this parrot, anyway?" Dave breaks the silence, and is kindly greeted with a squawk of "FUCKER."

"I'm just going to go make friends," he points in the direction of the expletives, and as he leaves you level V with a glare and cross your arms, the picture of upset.

"What?" She shrugs, "like you haven't thought about it."

"V, _thinking_ about it and _acting_ upon it are two totally different things!"

"Oh, as if. If he asked to move in, you would totally let him."

"If I felt like... it was a better option for him," you start carefully, but she rolls her eyes. "V, this is serious!!" You huff.

"Right, okay, sorry," she doesn't sound very apologetic. "Totally sorry! I just can't help but want to mess with Dave Strider. I promise I will play nice."

"You better," you point at her, before you tie on your apron and get around to feeding the animals and making sure everyone was feeling well.

Dave stuck around and talked to the parrot, and taught it a few new things, for example how to wolf whistle and also call you toots every time your walked by. The first time you gave the bird and Dave an alarmed and embarrassed look, and you would have gotten mad if it weren't for the big smile that broke across Dave's face, and it was the realest smile you could really remember seeing on him, and it kind of took your breath away.

When he dropped you off at your house later, you lingered in the car to give him a kiss goodbye and add a "don't move just yet though, okay?"

"Dude, I said I ain't moving," for a second you can hear a little more of the South in his voice.

"I mean just in case, okay?"

He gives you a fond sort of smile, leaning over to give you another kiss before he assures you, "I promise."


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise 6:50 in the morning update whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
> 
> unrelated recommended song: Violente Valse by Caravan Palace

You are Dave Strider and you are not moving.

Not really.

You quit your job at the daycare centre, and they understood and told you that if you wanted, you could come back next summer. In the meantime, you got a slightly-but-not-much-better job at some indie clothing store where your coworkers are all a bunch of hipster fucking douchebags, and you are only slightly concerned by how easily you fit in with them. You usually work sporadic, but flexible, hours, so when Egbert has to work later, you often have the time to meet Casey at her bus stop and stay with her at the Egbert house. Due to this, you often find enough time to crash there, especially since your job is nearby.

You don't know if Egbert realizes, but you sort of unintentionally (you think) start to... what, you aren't sure. Mark your territory? You're basically a huge girl about it. It starts with little things. A toothbrush, because it's just convenient. A CD or DVD. Chapstick. Pajamas.

Little things, some convenient, some you just forgot and never bothered to remember again. But it sort of escalates?

Casual clothes. Photographs you took. A bag.

Once you strategically left a pack of American Spirits on Egbert's night stand, before you left for work in the morning, before anyone else was up. It didn't take long for you to regret this. He actually called you at work to yell at you, going on and on about how he doesn't like you smoking as-is, but you especially can't leave things like that just laying around the house where Casey could find them!

When you get back to pick up Casey later, you find all your clothes and spare shit tucked into your bag and sitting by the door.

It is basically the closest thing Egbert has ever done to punching you in the face. Later, though, when you go to leave and take your stuff with you, Egbert stops you and apologizes at least a million times while he takes you bag back and dumps all your stuff on his bed and starts placing it all around his room/the house while you stand and watch, dumbfounded. When he's finally done he's practically crying and you don't really know what to do with the whole situation.

He feels so bad about the whole thing, apparently, that he doesn't let you leave for the night, instead forcing you to stay the night, and on top of it all, forcing you to be the little spoon.

Casey wakes herself up the next morning and catches her bus, and Egbert and you nearly oversleep. You both decide to act like nothing even happened.

Besides these little things, your lives stay basically the same. You hate your job a little more than before but it's balanced out, you think, with the other parts of your life you now enjoy a little more. 

Everything seems to be going alright until Bro calls again, explaining to you that he'll be there within the month.

"Just don't be a massive douchebag," you warn.

"Since when have I _ever_ been a massive douchebag?" He returns in shock.

"Every second of your god forsaken li--"

"Yer pretty serious 'bout this, ain't ya?"

"About you not being a--"

"'Bout this guy."

There's a heavy pause in which you know you're supposed to be saying something, you're supposed to say the right thing, but you don't know what the right thing is, so you don't say anything at all.

"Just sayin', usually ya wouldn't give two shits about what one o' yer dates thought 'bout the likes o' me," he adds.

"You say it like you're my childhood friend I secretly hate," you sigh.

"Well," you can practically hear him shrugging.

"You're my brother, dude. And my only remaining family member. Of course, I'd like if you liked him, and he liked you, and it was all hunky dorey, but really the best I can probably ask for is that you behave yourself."

"Gonna marry 'im?"

"Dude, we've been dating for, like, a couple months now? Yeah, no, when you come up, I plan on proposing. I want you to look over my speech first, is that cool?" You roll your eyes.

"Look, all I'm sayin' is that I ain't never seen ya so serious about someone before, is all. Usually ya just sorta have those, like, flings, ya know? The kind it's obvious you ain't serious about from the get-go, and there's no way you'd ever want ta do something so personal like lettin' 'em meet me. What're ya gonna do if I scare 'im off?"

"I wouldn't let you meet him if I thought you'd scare him off."

"Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," he teases, and it takes everything you have not to hang up.

Actually it must take a little more, because you can't resist the urge anyway.

You're not _too_ attached.

You're Dave Motherfucking Strider, proven Babysitter Extraordinaire and Well A Generally Alright Store Clerk also Coolest Of Cats. You do not get too attached. You're sure Egbert has it harder for you than you do for him, anyway. Because that is simply the way it worked for Striders. You would not come out of this broken hearted, you would move on just fine.

If anything, Egbert would be the one broken hearted.

You can't even imagine how Casey would take your exit from their lives.

You're too attached.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 4/13!!
> 
> unrelated song rec:  
> Cool Cool Universe by Ima Robot

You are John Egbert and Dave has been acting really weird. He's almost called you John, like, three times, for starters. He hasn't looked you in the eyes for a few days, either. You're starting to get really worried until he finally sits you and Casey down on your couch. He paces in front of the two of you a few times, letting your nerves tangle up a little more, before he finally lets out a sigh like he's been holding it back for decades.

"Bro's coming," he explains, and you feel all your muscles loosen.

"That's all?" You half-laugh in a breath you didn't remember holding.

" _All_?" He repeats, actually looking a little peeved.

"I thought it was something bad. Like, really bad. Like, I dunno, you were recruited for war or something."

He gives you a look before continuing. "I've been putting off telling you until I hounded him for an exact date. Friday. He's coming. Probably no later, hopefully no sooner. Now, I'm sure in you're cute little Egbert world, you're all in a tizzy, oh ye gods, I get to meet another Strider, oh the excitement, they'll be so much cool in one room, how ever will I go on," you clear your throat and he looks up at you, shocked out of his rant. "Right. But this is serious business. You gotta know how to deal with Bro. You need to _train_ to meet Bro. And, I know, it's my fault, I really should have done this sooner, but I was hoping he would cancel. No such luck, the asshole," you clear your throat louder, giving him a pointed look, but he chooses to ignore it this time, "just can't miss such a good chance to fu- to mess with me," he finishes, still pacing.

"Dude, it will totally be fine."

"Empty the fridge."

"Excuse me?"

"Not right this second, of course, but before Friday. Only keep what you intend to feed him in the house. Besides that, maybe store your food stuff at a friend's place or something. I don't really care, as long as it isn't here. He'll be coming up Friday afternoon-ish, I'll try to... contain him, until we have dinner here, where you will meet him and tell him a minimal amount about yourself. Believe me, he probably already knows more than you think he does. I will them leash him back to my place, where he will crash, and leave Saturday morning, hopefully without any of my or your stuff. Which reminds me, hide your valuables. I don't really think he'd steal from you but, I dunno, I don't want to take any chances," he continues on and on, pacing and waving his hands around.

"Dave, maybe you should take a seat? You're honestly starting to freak me out," you admit, but it doesn't take any more convincing to get him to plop down next to you, and upon counting, you notice that for every breath you breathe, he takes three or four.

"He's just such a," he stops, looking at Casey, "well, I mean he... he just... ugh!!" He gives up, sinking into the couch further. "I just don't want this to be a disaster. And I know you can handle any... bull that he dishes out, but I will be... somethinged if he scares the... scares Casey."

"That was an excellently executed sentence, Dave," you compliment, chuckling.

"You don't know what it's like to have an older brother like Bro. It's awful. It's just, it's dreadful. Don't get me wrong, I l... I love him and all, but I just never know if he's going to get along with anyone else in my life."

"We can take him!!" Casey burst, pumping her fists like we might actually fight him.

"That's right!" You chime in, throwing a fist in the air, "he can't mess with the Egbert family!"

"Oh God, I'm screwed," Dave moaned, sinking a little further into the couch. You leaned over to kiss the top of his head.

"Don't worry, Casey and I can handle it."

"Muhhhhhhhhhh."


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bro's visit is probably going to be a two or three chapter arch. After that I have no idea what's going to go down maybe some birthdays up in this bitch.  
> I wrote a list of plots i wanted to include in playing house but i'm a bad note taker so the notes are actually  
> "boyfriends (thats not the list title it's an actual thing on the actual list)  
> birthdays  
> hair"  
> and i don't know what i meant by any of those......  
> so yeah anyway early update this week  
> random song rec:  
> Pants on Fire by Buck 65

You are Dave Strider and you might actually be petrified.

Maybe.

No promises, but....

Okay, wait.

You are Dave Strider and you're currently standing outside the front door of your, uh, well, the person you are dating's house. Your older brother is standing right behind you, just outside of the range of uncomfortably close. There a lot of things you don't want to do right now, and everything single one of them happens to involve Bro being around the Egberts.

"We goin' in or is this all ya two do? Ya actually jus' sorta stalk him?"

"Wow shut up, I'm building suspense," you snap back. Before you know what's happening, Bro manages to land a single knock against the door and it flies open to one John Egbert with the biggest of goofy smiles plastered across his face and oh dear god he's wearing an apron you can actually feel Bro silently laughing at you.

"Come in!" He blurts, and gesturing grandly into the house. "I was just cooking. I wasn't sure what you would like, so I felt safe in assuming Chinese food?"

You slip him a ninja of a thumbs up while you lead Bro away from everything, only to discover Casey waiting patiently in the living room, her hands held cutely behind her back like she'd rehearsed. "Hey, Kiddo," you smile, and she opens her arms up to you so you can pick her up, which you do, like the whipped motherfucker you are.

"Nice shades," Bro notes to her, and she turns to him with a well in place poker face that you're almost proud of, actually, but you can tell that she's actually nervous by her little fists clenching into your shoulders.

"Casey, this is my big brother, Bro, Casey."

She makes a little face like she isn't entirely convinced.

"Aren't I, like, an uncle or some bullshit like that?" Bro asks, and Egbert comes back out from the kitchen to give a loud "ahem," which Bro ignores, and you try to convey to Egbert that there's really no use in trying with Bro.

"Do you want to watch My Little Pony?" Casey asks, breaking the tension.

"Is that even a question, shit yeah I wanna watch My Little Pony," Bro huffs like he's actually insulted by the question (well, with him, there's no telling).

You set Casey down and let her lead him to the TV to start watching, and in no time they're completely consumed in the magic of friendship. You take the chance to slip into the kitchen and check on Egbert. "The children are distracted," you greet.

"Can you tell him to watch his mouth?" Egbert huffs in the midst of frying rice.

"Seriously, you're lucky I do as good as I do around her. It is not in the Strider bloodline to talk clean. I'm sorry but you're going to have to get used to it with him. Anyway, he wont be around that often, you know? Treat him like that family uncle no one talks about."

He let out a sigh, looking like this wasn't what he wanted. "Dude, you need to chill. The worst part for me has already passed. After this it's all smooth sailing and ironic Strider tea parties."

You finally elicit a laugh from him, and he loosens up. "So, when should he meet Dad?" He teases.

"Never, if possible," you offer, carefully wrapping your arms around his waist to snuggle up to him from behind. You aren't used to being overtly affectionate, and somehow you feel like you're doing something wrong, until he gently leans back into you as he switches off the stove, and them for another moment you feel completely right.

There are a lot of things you're afraid of from the future.

Egbert wasn't gay or even bisexual or even, as far as you know, so much as bicurious before you started dating. It sort of just happened, and it was probably the greatest thing that ever just happened to you in your entire life, but there's something about the "just happened"s that feel so unstable, like one wrong move and it's over. What if it's your wrong move?

And there's always Casey to think about. She likes you, yeah, and she's a great kid, and she's been fantastic with you dating her dad, but you hate to think about the bullshit she's going to get for having two dads, and you're not even dad material to begin with.

There's too much to think about, really.

You want too much from this, but you don't want to pressure Egbert into giving anything.

You feel like such a fucking dick.

Fuck.

God, you're fucking terrified.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Striders  
> oh also i'm going to animeNext so if you're going and want to meet me now's a good time to say so  
> (i like people)  
> (i might actually make you buy me food)
> 
> unrelated music blah blah:  
> Ladi Dadi (feat. Wynter Gordon) by Steve Aoki

You are John Egbert and you really don't see why Dave was so nervous about this to begin with. Okay so yeah, his brother curses like a sailor, that could be improved upon, but Casey doesn't miss a beat in tsking him for it, even if that doesn't change a thing.

You made Chinese food, and everyone ate it quite happily, although not without Dave's brother waving his fork at you and making comments about you being a good wife around his mouth full of food, which Casey and you politely corrected him on.

(You corrected his mouth full of food, that is. Casey made a huffy remark that you were the husband, which made his brother almost choke on rice trying to laugh at.)

After dinner, an ironic Strider tea party was, indeed, had, although you actually thought Dave had been kidding about that part. You were actually very surprised by how good the older Strider was handling the situation. While you had been confident that it wasn't all going to go horribly, but you thought it would be awkward and he would say some stupid and even accidentally hurtful things, but he was actually a really good guy. Besides his dirty mouth, he got along really well with Casey.

He was really into all that irony jazz you remember used to be Dave's thing in high school, and you imagined that he must have passed it down to Dave. When you saw the two of them stand next to each other, though, it was like something else entirely. There was something in the both of them that was distinctly the same, like you could tell they were related, you could sort of see how Dave was going to shape out when he got as old as his brother, the changes that were going to happen. You could see they grew up in the same space, the way they held themselves, even the calluses on their hands matched.

But you could see their differences too. You could see that Dave was still trying to get out of his brother's shadow. You could tell Dave was never going to muscle out like his brother did, even if he did shoot up the extra three inches to catch up to his height, Dave was built like a beanpole. Dave's hair was closer to ginger than his brother's was, and he had more freckles on his face and arms that you could see. Dave's brother smiled more, though. Although a lot of his expressions seemed kind of snarky, you could see his feelings were quicker to be expressed, even if Dave's were more genuine.

They both wore shades the whole time, though. His brother had shades just like the smaller pair Dave had given to Casey. But for a second, later in the day, his brother had lifted his shades to rub at his eyes (you imagined he was a little jetlagged) and he looked up to meet you with his startling orange eyes for just a moment, and he smirked like he was enjoying some inside joke. You wondered if that was why Dave wore the shades too, if he shared the trait.

It continued to bother you for the rest of the evening, even through the tea party.

By the time you got Casey settled down and in bed, you returned to the living room to find both Striders seated on your couch, the TV flashing Adventure Time, as they muttered back and forth to each other like they were engaged in a very serious conversation. You cleared your throat, just in case, wondering how many serious conversations one couch could harbour. They both looked up to you, you assumed, since of course they were both wearing shades.

"Sorry," you croak, your throat suddenly dry.

"I was just about ta head back ta Davey's place," Strider assures you, hopping over the back of the couch while Dave got up like a normal person.

"Wow no, don't make him think that's a real thing you really call me."

"What'er ya even talkin' about dude, I always call ya Davey."

"No stop."

"So we were jus' discussin' how I'd be gettin' back ta his joint."

"No we weren't, because I'm taking him back."

"'Cept I thought he'd o' stayed here, at yer place, y'know? Thought I'd have the place all ta myself."

"Ignore him."

"Well, he ain't got no work tomorrow, an' I can get myself ta the airport all on my own, so I thought that'd be a good enough cause for him ta hang here the night. I mean, I woulda," he shrugs. You were really just watching the exchange like it didn't involve you (in a way, it didn't).

"You guys can, uh, decide that amongst yourselves then, I guess. I don't really care either way? Just don't fight and wake up Casey, is all."

"Sounds like he wants ya ta stay, dude," a thumb was pointed to you, and Dave sneered a little, although he looked a little embarrassed, too. Maybe, you realized, Dave was alright kind of just hanging out, but he didn't really want your, uh, relationship brought into the equation.

"Dave, you can go home with your brother," you assured, giving them both a smile. "Oh, but actually I did have a favo-"

"Can I stay?" You blinked. For a second there, Dave had that little twinge of a country accent back in his voice, and wow it was actually kind of really nice??

"Wh... d... yeah, I mean, like I said you can do whatever you want," you assure him, and he immediately points his brother to the door.

His brother, in turn, practically cackles at him, but stops to give you a hearty pat on the shoulder that takes you very much by surprise. "I like ya, kid," he gives you a cocky sort of grin, "You can call me Dirk, alright?" You felt a little honoured to actually receive a name, before he leans down close to your ear and you almost jumped out of your skin.

"Ya take care o' him, y'hear? I'll fuckin' kill ya if anythin' happens to my kid brother," he adds in a vicious whisper.

A part of you knew you were supposed to feel threatened and a little scared, but you couldn't do anything but smile at him and give him a dorky salute and a resounding "yes sir!"

For the rest of the night, Dave just kept asking what Dirk had told you over and over again, and you just shushed him until he finally fell asleep pressed into your back, breathing against your neck, his shades set on the nightstand, but his eyes shut to quickly to ever get to see them.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Dave and Casey get some quality time  
> random recommended music: 505 by Arctic Monkeys

You are Dave Strider and you discover that the previous day, Egbert wanted to ask you if you'd watch Casey for the day, which of course you accept. Bro left you a text message with something like "Hope you and your boyfriend had fun, I managed to set off all by myself." quickly followed by a "Hope you weren't terribly attached to that apple juice."

You resist the urge to chuck your phone across the room, but Egbert stills your hand before you have the chance. He's wearing the least ironic cardigan you've ever seen in all your life with a bright cerulean tee shirt and these nice skinny jeans and damn he looks fucking adorable, so you let him ease your hand (and cell) back down to your side.

"Alright, I'm going to be back a little late today, we're having a shipment of puppies come in," he starts, fixing his silly cardigan.

"Oh, can't miss that," you deadpan. You earn a smirk out of him.

"So I leave Casey up to you. If you leave the house, make sure to feed Jackii first, and lock the door," he claims your other hand to slip a key into, and you raise your eyebrows at it, before lifting you head to give him the look. His face only flushes a little, you grant him. "Wh-what?"

You can tell he's lamenting that stutter enough all on his own, so you close your fingers around the key without another word and start thinking of a way to make this one so you can tell it apart from your vast collection of keys that go to something, you're sure. "Right, yeah, leave it to me, babe," you assure, letting the pet name slip out out of habit. He gives you a startled look for all of half a second, before his face warms into a smile.

"Okay, I'll, uh, see you when I get home," you duck a little when he gives you a gentle tug down, and meet him half way for a quick kiss you're soon startled out of by Casey coming out in her PJs asking for breakfast. Egbert's gone before you can remember to remind him that you aren't really one for the culinary arts.

Through the combined efforts of Casey and you, though, you eventually manage to make something like pancakes that are totally edible, but you both agree to go out for lunch later. You spend some time teaching Casey about some of the games they have laying around the house (of course only age appropriate ones) only to discover that, apparently, Egbert has mostly given up gaming himself, which seems sort of weird to you, you feel like you remember he used to be pretty into them.

You amend that he might still do PC gaming. You don't dwell on it long, it isn't really worth dwelling long, and instead you take a moment to take a quick shower and you totally don't feel all excited that you're using Egbert's shampoo because that would be really lame. You return to Casey patiently waiting for you, and she grins at you for a moment.

Before you know what's happening Casey is scolding you for wearing the same clothes and instructing you to "borrow Daddy's clothes, or we can't go anywhere!"

After the most awkward 10 minutes you've ever spent with a seven year old, you finally manage to get something on that she approves of and you feel alright in. His clothes are just a little too big on you, you realize. Although you're taller, he's definitely more filled out.

Casey dons one of her tiaras and fixes her dress while you pour some food in Jackii's dish, before you allow Casey to clamber up on you, attaching herself at your neck so you have to duck out the door. You double check yourself for the house key before locking the door and heading out. Casey excitedly points out things as you walk by them ("Dave, Dave, look, a duck!!" "Dave, do you see that ladies hat, do you see how pretty it is?!" "Dave, wow, look at those swings!!" "Dave, the movie theatre, can we all go see a movie sometime?" "Dave, he has a sign! Dave, he needs money, give him some money, Dave!") (You actually wound up donating so much money to homeless people it was ridiculous. Not to say you don't occasionally give money to the homeless, but usually not every single person on the street. No wonder Egbert was feeling a little too strapped for cash to get Casey nicer tiaras.)

"Dave, can we go to the park?" Casey smacked your shoulder and pointed towards the park like she needed to get your attention for it.

"Kiddo, you need to calm down. We're _supposed_ to just be going to get some lunch, remember? You are making this into a much bigger deal than it needs to be."

Her rational reply was to put you in a choke hold.

"Wow, wait, okay, shhh. Not today, alright, but hey, sometime maybe your dad and you can like, go to see a movie and feed the ducks and go on a picnic with all the local homeless people, alright?"

"And you!" She huffed, practically offended.

"I take offence to that. I'm not homeless yet," you snicker, and she huffs and bouces a little.

" _Dave_!!"

"Alright, okay, I'll go on a homeless picnic with you, alright?"

"And to the movies!!"

"What, next you'll want me to feed the ducks."

"What do ducks eat, Dave? What do we feed them?"

"What, you've never fed the ducks before? I though you guys did stuff like that. Like old-people stuff."

"Da--"

"Bread. You feed them bread crumbs."

"Do they like it?"

"Yeah man, they gobble that shit up."

"Dave!!"

"Sh-- fu........... Yeah, sorry." She giggled at you, snuggling into your hair. "I hope you don't tell your dad how often I accidentally curse in front of you."

"Nope, it's a secret," she promised, "Daddy would get mad at you if I told him, and I don't want you guys to fight," you felt her nuzzle further into your hair, her little hands holding on to you for dear life. "I want you to stay forever, so I don't want you guys to fight like Mommy and Daddy did," she murmured, and you felt....

God, you didn't know what you felt, but it was awful. It was basically the worst feeling ever felt, you think. It was like throwing up but instead of vomit it was raw emotion, and instead of being hurled from your stomach, it settled down in the pit of it, heavy like lead. She got out one soft little sniffle into your hair before you couldn't take it, and you swung her over your shoulder. She got out one shrill little squeak before you cradled her in your arms, holding her close into your chest like you were afraid she might leave you.

"I'm not going anywhere, Kiddo," you promise, kissing her forehead, and she let out one little sob, reaching up to hold your face in her tiny hands as you hushed her, wondering how many people were looking, and out of them who recognized you as Dave Motherfucking Strider, but you couldn't care about it if you tried.

"Will you marry Daddy?" She asked in a voice like begging, her fingers feeling the sides of your shades. You let her pull them off so she could look into your red eyes. She'd seen them before, at the centre, when you'd let her wear your shades. Somehow it was easier with kids. They never cared about the physical abnormalities so much.

"I don't know. But I wont leave you guys."

"Forever?"

"Not even if you try to make me," you snickered, and she smiled back at you, returning your shades to their rightful place.

"Then you might as well get married!" She huffed, wiping the tears out of her eyes.

"Yeah, we'll see," you chuckled. "So anyway, where are we going to eat, huh?"


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is partly dedicated to Pirate because Ghost Dad but mostly dedicated to Audrey, who is this girl in my school who reads my fic and I really wish I could be friends with her because she seems super nice but I'm too awkward to talk to her and I tried today and I clammed up and shut down instead oh no so I decided the easiest way to convey to her that I think she's swell but I'm too awkward is to dedicate a chapter to her.
> 
> So hey Audrey here's to you.
> 
> random music rec:  
> Get Happy by Cosmo Jarvis

You are John Egbert and for some reason for the last month the only questions Casey has asked you is "can Dave and us go see a movie," "can Dave and us go on a picnic," "do ducks really eat bread," "are you sure," and "will you marry Dave?"

Most of the answers were easy.

You finally decided to confront Dave about is (Casey's questions, not marriage) when he decided to stay over again. Casey was in bed and Dave was emptying his pockets of his ginormous ring of keys (you could spot the key to your house on it, it was the newest since you'd made it especially for him), wallet, cigarettes, matches, cell phone, and random knick knacks you weren't sure why anyone would keep on their person (like twenty cell phone straps that were in no way attached to his cell phone??). You watched him carefully, admiring the way he didn't take them out in a handful, but instead everything one by one, like each was special and needed to be treated with care. You watched the way his long fingers curled around them and the two freckles on his right hand. By the time he turned towards you, you kind of completely forgot what you wanted to ask him to begin with.

"Do you want to watch Ghost Dad?" You asked instead.

He scrunched up his nose. "Excuse me?"

"Ghost Dad. I have it on DVD?"

"Are you serious right now, is that why you asked if I wanted to stay over?"

"It's not _why_ , but I thought maybe we could?"

"Egbert, no."

"Why not?!"

"Well, first of all, Ghost Dad is an awful movie."

"Is not!!"

"It's worse than Nic Cage. It's worse than every Nic Cage movie. It might be worse than if everyone on the planet was actually Nic Cage."

"Excuse you."

"Second of all, that's exactly not why I stayed over today."

"What, like when you decided to stay you were like 'not for Ghost Dad'?"

"Yes."

"What is your beef with Ghost Dad?"

"Egbert, it's about a ghost dad who wants to make a business deal."

"For his kids!" You defend.

"Okay, shut up."

"So what was this big reason that you decided to stay over that is apparently the opposite of Ghost Dad?"

"What? No, there is no reason. Whatever. We can watch a Nic cage movie or something, okay?" He muttered, climbing onto your bed and plopping down.

"You're clearly lying. About the reason. Maybe not the Nic Cage. But now is not the time for Nic Cage. What's up with you?"

"Nothing is up, Jesus Christ. Pick a movie that isn't Ghost Dad. Or Con Air. Or something else _that_ unbearable."

"Dude, something is up."

"Look, if you don't know what's up, then nothing is up."

You squinted at him, making a face. He just shrugged his shoulders.

"Something is so up. It's like above the clouds that's how up it is."

"You're so fucking persistent goddamn, it's not a big deal. It doesn't even matter."

"Then why wont you tell me?" You huff back at him and he shifts a little awkwardly.

"Whatever, it's just been like 6 months. So I wanted to see you. No big deal."

It takes you a second to get that. Like, to really _get_ it. "Oh my GOD Dave, what, today is our half-year anniversary?"

"It's not a big deal."

"It's a HUGE deal, dude, what, I can't believe it's been six months! It still feels like it was just a couple weeks ago! I mean I'm still totally awkward around you and everything!" He flinches a little, and it occurs to you that, yeah, it's been six months.

Looking back, in reality, you can remember each day. You can see them each unfolding in front of you, countable, easy to recite. But Dave was used to things like this. Relationships. Remembering dates. You're so out of touch with it all now, almost scared to come out of your shell anymore. You lived such a big chunk of your life thinking it was just going to be you and Casey, and then out of no where this lanky, awkward, perfect, freckled ginger kid you can remember fleeting glances of just sort of waltzes into your life, full of ego, and maybe just as much fear. Dave probably gave a lot to be with you. He really put his feelings on the line, unlike you who started out hiding behind Casey liking him, and he's dating you even though you have a kid, and you imagine that's got to put a strain on him, falling in love with a single father can't be easy. And the thought of the Dave that Dave is when he's at home, when you're at work, when you can't see him, that Dave counting each and every day like stars, that Dave wanting to see you today, wanting to celebrate, and you haven't put forth even a fraction of the effort.

It's a little scary.

A part of you asks yourself if you really love him at all.

Does he love you more?

What happens if he does?

The other part of you is screaming that for all his faults, there is not a single person on the planet more perfect than Dave Motherfucking Strider, and by some stroke of fate, somehow, he's in love with you, and he counts his days with you like stars, and he loves your daughter, and he wants to celebrate. He wants to celebrate the fact that he is in love with you, and you with him.

And he's really just perfect, so you kiss him, and he's too startled to react, so you slip his shades off and try to put them somewhere he can't reach, but he doesn't even reach for them, because he's too busy holding your face to his and returning the kiss, the celebration.

You can understand why he might hide his eyes, you guess.

You're a little put off that he thought you would care about something like that, but insecurities are built into you, and you can understand that, so you just watch his red eyes as they slip closer to shut, and when you can get a breath between the kisses, you assure him "I love you."

You don't think it sounds like enough, like you owe him more, so you say it again and again and again, every chance you get, every gasp.

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you, Dave, I...."

"I love you."

"I love..."

"For fuck's sake, John, shut up."

"I love you," you add, just one last time, admiring that your name tastes sweet on his lips, and wow you're so in love with this guy.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I am officially a high school graduate hollaaaaaaaaa
> 
> related recommended music:  
> What If by Safteysuit??? (I am actually not a huge fan of this song but sOME OF YOU MIGHT BE)  
> Giving Up by Ingrid Michaelson (I am actually a huge fan of this song)

You are Dave Strider and Egbert has himself nestled against you, practically curled around you really, with his face comfortably in the nook of your neck. He'd taken off his glasses so they wouldn't like gouge your jugular open or something, so you can feel every little flutter of his eyelashes against the thin skin.

You're pretty sure he can probably hardly see the TV without his glasses, and you aren't really even paying much attention, but the two of you can at least hear Pulp Fiction is playing on the set, since Ghost Dad was officially vetoed, and after he finished kissing you until your lips were numb (well, not that you were particularly complaining or anything) he seemed much more open to allowing you to have your way (well, again, you had no qualms), and it seemed like maybe he'd already resigned himself to not actually paying attention to the movie, no matter what you may have chosen.

"Dave?" His voice breaks from misuse, and it comes out as a whisper, like he thinks you've fallen asleep, which he might.

"Yeah, babe?" You mumble, realizing you actually were on the verge of sleep for a second there.

He pushes himself up slightly so he can look you in the eyes, and you shift uncomfortably, feeling out of place and vulnerable without your shades on, but Egbert instilled a No Shades rule and told you to 'stop being such a baby jeez it's fine.'

"I forget," he grins after a while, and you roll your eyes, at least grateful that now he can see this. "Are you watching this?"

"Are you saying you aren't? You are missing some quality filmography here, Egbert, you could learn a thing or two." There's a long pause between the two of you. "Meaning no. Not really."

He reaches over for the remote to turn the DVD player and TV off, smothering the room in darkness. "Wanna go to bed?" He asks after it's too dark to see his face.

"Yeah, sure," you sink down a little, feeling pretty ready for sleep. Egbert adjusted himself again so he could press his back into you, letting you spoon him which was actually pretty unusual, since he usually slept facing you in a horribly awkward tangle of limbs that made it apparent that sleeping in the company of someone was not exactly his forté.

You wait a while, listening to his breathing and waiting for the perfect moment when your breathes finally fell in sync, before whispering "Egbert" in a slightly broken voice that mimics his.

"Yeah, babe?" He chuckles, nuzzling his face into his pillow and curling his fingers between yours.

"I forget," you snicker and he lets out a breathy laugh before you place a careful kiss at the nape of his neck. "I probably don't tell you enough but... you know I love you, right?" You murmur, and admire the goosebumps that crawl across his skin.

"I know. You're completely mad for me," he teases.

"I am. I really am. Totally crazy for you."

"Head over heels," he returns.

"Simply batty."

"Casey wants us to get married," he chuckles, but he stops as he realizes that that was kind of literally the most awkward thing he could have really possibly said, and you just kissed his neck in the middle of the night to tell him that you love him which is pretty weird, looking back.

"You Egberts sure do work fast. Give a lady a little time, will you?" You chuckle and feel him relax again.

"She really likes you. Casey, I mean."

"I'll keep her in mind if you ever break up with me," you promise.

"Dave!!" He huffs, turning a little to give you a serious look now that your eyes were adjusted to the dark.

"Calm down," you hush, kissing the side of his neck so you can feel his pulse jump. "You know I like her, too."

"I know.... It's just... it's hard, you know? Raising her and... I just want her to be happy and comfortable."

"You don't want the school or anyone in it to find out, you mean?"

"What?"

"About us."

"N-no! What, Dave, that isn't what I meant!"

"I'm not upset or anything. She might get a lot of shit from classmates over it. If not now, then when she gets older, and teachers could disciminate against her."

"Dave, that really isn't what I meant. She's strong, and she knows how to handle herself, and if anything really went wrong I could easily have her home schooled and she can just meet her friends out of school. I just meant that she never really stopped feeling torn up about her mom. I think she almost blames herself that she was never a part of our lives, and I think she used to... worry about me. Well, that is, it wasn't exactly unusual that Casey tried to set me up with people she met like what she did with you."

"She's real independent for her age, isn't she?" You laugh a little, although you feel slightly less... well, special, you guess.

"The difference is that I never actually went along with it before," he admits. "I mean... the last person I dated was her mother. Before you. It's all really weird and complicated. I mean, not actually, actually it's all very simple, but in my head it's kind of a big mess."

"You're a dad, Egbert. Of course you're worried about Casey. And you're a dad before you're my boyfriend, in every way. And that's completely understandable and natural. I can't stop you from worrying about her."

"It's just... she really likes you, Dave."

"Okay shhhh, only dreams now," you hush, turning him back around. "There's nothing to worry about.

"I really, really like you, Dave," he whispers.

"I dig you too, doll."

"What if..." he stops, leaving the room in a silence that makes you feel a little queasy. You don't know if you want him to finish or not, but in the end you give his hand a little squeeze.

"What if?" You prompt.

"What if."

"Oh. Okay."

"What if we break up, Dave?"

"What if," you agree, not wanting to think about it, at least not right now, you'd thought about it enough for the last six months.

"What if we get married, Dave?"

"What if," you sigh, nuzzling his neck.

"What if."

"What if."

Life is probably all about the what ifs anyway, you guess.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHA  
> HAHA  
> HA  
> I UPDATED
> 
> unrelated music rec:  
> Lover Boy by Mika

Your name is John Egbert and you can't believe how quickly time flies.

Things had been going smoothly, too. You don't know if you particularly expected things to go roughly, but if you did, then you were pleasantly surprised, for sure. Dave started spending more of his time around your house, which was fine since Casey missed him when he was gone (well, you did too, of course), and more of his things started appearing around the house. His work schedule started to take form around your house's schedule, he started getting used to waking up early to take Casey to school some days, and the two of you got used to taking turns dropping her off and picking her up. He even started teaching Casey how to play Sonic the Hedgehog ("up next is Sly Cooper").

"Will Dave live with us?" Casey asked one of the mornings you were taking her to school.

"Uh, ha, we'll see, okay?"

"You should really think about these things more! You don't know if he'll live with us, you don't know if you'll marry him...! These are some really important things, you know!"

"Believe me, Casey, I could not possibly think about them more."

"Do you want to watch some movies to think of ways to propose?"

"That wont be necessary."

Dave picked her up from school that day, which Casey always liked because she loved driving in Dave's car, and you suspect he might have let her "steer" down the straight road, but you decide not to press the matter.

The more time goes by, the more often Dave and Casey get more Dave And Casey Time, and if you thought you spoiled her, wow!! Dave is a total push over! He buys her almost whatever she asks for, and even though she naturally doesn't ask for very many things, the more she gets pampered the more you see her opening up to the idea to asking. You used to have to force her to make birthday or Christmas requests, buy now when you all go to the store she picks up things at random and gives Dave her big blue eyes, batting them and begging him, "please can we get it!" although there's hardly any point since she doesn't even have to ask before Dave decides it's all hers.

"You really shouldn't spoil her so much," you warn one day.

"Oh, you're one to talk," he teases back.

"I spoiled her just the right amount. You're going a little overboard."

"Am not."

"You nearly bought a bouncy house for the back yard."

"Don't pretend that wouldn't have been fucking wicked." You roll your eyes, plopping down on the bed next to him as he removes his shades. He's slowly gotten used to occasionally walking around the house without them, but you can tell they're still a sort of safety blanket. "I dunno, I guess it's because Bro and I didn't really grow up with much. I mean, I guess we did pretty well for ourselves, in general, but most of the money Bro got from DJing went into DJ equipment and repairs and stuff? It was sort of like a vicious circle. And I don't blame him or anything, but Bro wasn't exactly fucking aces at parenting. I mean, he was still pretty young when he had to start raising me, and I know he did his best, but he wasn't ready to be a parental figure," he snorts a little, and you smile back, just because you love it when he does that sarcastically humoured laugh, "he still isn't ready, actually. Bro will probably never be ready to be a parent," his face drops a little, "and I guess neither am I. But. Well, I guess, when I think back to being a kid, Bro wasn't around a lot - and I know it was because he was doing his best for me, but... I feel like I missed out on a lot of things a kid is supposed to have. And when I see Casey, I sort of feel like... I don't want her to miss out on those things like I did. So, I mean, I'm making pretty decent money right now, and you're still doing well, and I figure that... like, together, we can afford to spoil her? And I like taking her places. She deserves to get to go places. It's a benefit of being a kid. Just. Going places without worrying how you're getting there or how much it costs."

You lean into his shoulder. "You're wrong," you note.

He snorts again, but it's a little less humoured, and there's almost a sneer on his lips, his red eyes casting down at your floor. "I guess," he agrees.

"I meant about yourself. Well, I mean, I think you're doing great. At being a parental figure and stuff. Everyone's a parent differently, you know? What matters is that you love her. And I know you do. I can tell you love her. You treat her like she's yours."

"I love you," he mutters, hunching over to rest his face in his hands, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. "Shit."

"I love you, too," you assure, rubbing his back in gentle circles.

"I love you so fucking much," you think he's crying, but it's hard to tell. "I didn't mean to. I don't know what I meant to, but I didn't mean to fall for you this much. This wasn't what I planned. I love you too fucking much."

"Is it bad?"

"What?" His voice catches and you realize, ah, he really is crying.

"Do you regret it? Do you wish it turned out differently?"

"No," his voice is small, smaller than his legacy. "I'm scared you will."

"Dave, I have fucked up nearly every single aspect of my entire life. I mean, let's face it. I'm lucky I even graduated high school. I was so close to having to drop out. Dave, I knocked up a girl I was barely even dating, and I wasn't even good enough for her to stay with me. I never, ever, ever regret that I have Casey in my life, but that doesn't mean that I fucked up any less than I did. Of all the things I've done since the end of high school, you are the last thing I ever plan on regretting," you lean forward, tilting your head and waiting for him to retreat out of his hands. He does so carefully, trying to wipe the tears from his eyes without being obvious about it. "Dave, I love you. I love you more than I ever planned on loving you. Maybe loving anyone, even. And it's one of the best things I've ever done."

"Besides Casey," he elbows you in the ribs, and a grin splits your face.

"Besides Casey, of course!" You lean over to give him a kiss, your lips barely brushing but he exhales right as you inhale and it's completely perfect despite how fleeting it is.

"Sorry I kind of... yeah," he murmurs, straightening himself out again and stretching.

"Any time. You need to have feelings sometimes you know, Dave Strider."

"I'm practically a wad of feelings since I met you, I'll have you know."

"I know, I know," you tease, pushing him back into the bed and wrassling for cuddling dominance before he subdues you with kisses (you've previously noted that this is CHEATING but he refuses to acknowledge your accusations) so the win goes to him and you fall asleep with your face pressed into his chest and his arms wrapped loosely around you, his hands resting at the small of your back.

"Dave," you break a silence.

"It's not cheating," he answers.

"Do you want to move in?"

He doesn't answer, but his breathing stops for a moment.

"I don't know how to take that."

"Um. Wh-"

"You don't have to answer right this second. I'm just. Putting it out there. For when you're ready to answer."

"Yeah. I mean... yes, I would... very much like to move in."

You smile into his chest. "M'kay. Good night, Dave."

"'Night, John," you hear his voice less than you feel the rumble of it in his chest, and the in and out of his breath quickly lulls you to sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> user nerds4us suggested that this would actually make an okay Final Chapter for playing house to just end on, and i kind of agree with that!!
> 
> so i'm gonna call this story closed for now, and i might write little drabbles for it here and there and upload them onto this or separately or whatever, but yeah
> 
> thanks for reading!!
> 
> unrelated music recommendation:  
> Hysteric (acoustic or non-acoustic version) by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Your name is Dave Strider and moving is a lot more complicated than it used to be. Fortunately, you live in one of the shittiest apartments possibly in the country, so you don't actually have to worry about a lease or anything, you sort of told your landlord you wanted to move out and he growled that you had three weeks to vacate.

John came over to help you pack (Casey insisted she wanted to help too, but John and you were in complete agreement that you didn't really want Casey in your neighbourhood, so you worked while she was at school). You had a lot more shit than you remembered having, and it became quickly clear that some sacrifices would have to be made. You are completely dead set that your mixing equipment would not go in any closet or the spare bedroom, and he agreed that it could stay in your room and they would get another dresser for some of it to go on and for your clothes to go in, but you probably couldn't keep all the photography equipment as well, and there really wasn't space in his house for a dark room.

You make a deal that you would keep your cameras and shit in the dresser, but you wouldn't set up a dark room and instead set up residence in your friend's dark room. Therefore, you would sell all your other equipment and as many of your prints as you could, and that money would go into the purchasing of a new dresser (until then your clothes would stay in a bin and your equipment would stay in the spare room).

Besides that, you really didn't have much besides your video games and some preserved dead things (which John begrudgingly agreed could be kept on the shelf in your room). Most of the furniture came with the place, save your bed which was actually just a mattress, and you didn't need your TV or anything, so that could all be sold or given away. After it was all sorted, it was basically smooth sailing. You managed to successfully vacate the premises by three weeks and after a while, you managed to sell all your extra stuff and made enough for a dresser that would fit the room, plus a little extra spending money. Generally, though, by the time you're all settled in about a month later, it feels like a real victory.

You still aren't used to how little personal space you feel like you have. Of course, there was still time when you're home alone, but it's much different from the bachelor lifestyle you'd gotten so used to. There was no _my bed_ or _my room_ anymore. Everything was now _ours_ , and at first this gave you a very strange feeling to think about, and you couldn't tell if it was entirely good or bad.

There were a lot more board games and a lot more shitty movie nights and you learned the art of constructing pillow forts pretty quickly, and learned that no piece of furniture had a god-given right to be spared in the making of pillow forts, and that included your turn tables. You also had shared duty in taking care of the cat, even though you never signed up for such a thing, but it was important to the Egberts, so....

You think the turning point was one night, when you were putting up with some Matthew Mcsjdhgsd movie with John on the couch, when you warned him beforehand that he would be too tired before the movie ended, but he insisted there was no such thing as sleep when there was THIS dreamboat (he shoved the movie in your face to make his point, and you scowled). As you predicted, he was dozing off by 11 with another hour of the movie left, and you had to continuously had to jostle him back into consciousness.

"Ready to give up?" You teased again and again, and each time he muttered an "dude, shut up, I'm awake, I'm watching it," and you just waited until his weight fell dead against you again.

"Ready t--" you start, but he cuts you off.

Turning his face into your shoulder, he mumbled a, "yes, for god's sake, i'm ready to give up."

You chuckle, ruffling his unruly hair.

"Can we finish it tomorrow?" He asks, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes and yawning against you.

"Yeah, sure, whatever you want," you assure, imagining you only have maybe a half hour of it left anyway.

He shuffles to his feet, still rubbing his eye under his glasses, and reaches a hand out to you, like he can't possibly make it alone. You turn off the TV in time to hear him mumble, "let's go to bed," in one of those voices that are perfectly sleepy, and you take his hand and stand up to pull his glasses off his face and kiss his eyelid, moving his hand away to stop rubbing at it.

You let out an agreeable hum, and he smiles, squeezing your hand and walking to your room.

 _Our room_.

And you think that maybe you sacrificed some of your personal space, and you don't get to live your sloppy bachelor lifestyle anymore, but when you realize that tomorrow morning you're going to wake up with John Egbert curled sleepily into you, the sunlight coming through the slits of his window shades lighting him up, and he'll blink his big blue eyes open for the first time to see you, and he starts work late enough in the day that him, Casey, and you can all have breakfast together (and, more importantly, he can make breakfast, so it's actually edible), you wonder if there's anything you wouldn't sacrifice for these things. At that exact moment, you couldn't really think of a single thing.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Playing House](https://archiveofourown.org/works/266644) by [katcoo13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/katcoo13/pseuds/katcoo13)




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